Monday, August 24, 2015

Falling pears think of the kiddiewinks anger

Birmingham Mail: Woman furious that pear tree in communal garden in bearing fruit which could fall on somebody's head or something

"It’s only a matter of time before someone is injured by falling fruit"

If only there was some way of - say - eating said fruit before it kills somebody's poor kiddiewink completely to death. 
If. Only.

Spotter's Badge: Paul, Tom


Robin of Locksley said...

Please tell me that this is a spoof. Please.

That pink woman is scary.

Alfalfamale said...

I got hit on the head by a falling pear once. It lead me to conclude that there was a force (lets call it the 'deadline') acting on the local newspaper editor that was in direct proportion to the number of puns that could be derived from the incident and inversely proportional to the square of its newsworthiness.

LadyCham said...

Pear cider with 100% pears. Make money!!! Ask Stewart Lee.

Anonymous said...

She looks like she's eaten all the local kids so any sprog injured will be from out of town. Why is she bothered, unless it's a way to get more children to eat? Mmmmmm, scrummy!

Anonymous said...

I work in social housing. I know this is genuine. An almost daily complaint. It would never occur to these people to pick up ANYTHING or in the case of fruit…PICK IT ! They can't because they've got a disability, their kids are autistic - code for lazy useless bastards.

Lose Canon said...

Alfalfamale - It's a good job that it wasn't a heavy object made of led (sic) because it might have lead (sic) to you loosing (sic) your memory. /sarc/