Monday, October 31, 2016

Lack of flagpole anger

Lynn News: Samwell Tarly from Game of Thrones upset after council removes 'controversial' flag pole from space near to war memorial

Still, replacing it with a resin model of an old boy in a gilet and sensible shoes is a good compromise

Spotter's Badge: George

Biblical plague of mice anger

Chichester Observer: Block of flats hit by 'biblical plague of mice'

Just wait until the plague of clowns, mate. You'll need a bigger trap.

And just to maintain balance...

Plymouth Herald: Mouse complains of 'biblical plague of humans'

Spotter's Badge: Ben, Adam

Sunday, October 30, 2016

The people who smashed up our school are going to get it anger

Hartlepool Mail: Thieves knock hole in wall in attempted school break-in

The girl at the centre back is channeling Arya Stark from Game of Thrones, and heads will roll.

Spotter's Badge: Ian

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Lookalike grammar pedant anger

Essex Live: Two old blokes go to the paper about rogue apostrophes, and THEY BOTH LOOKS THE SAME

It looks like the Chuckle Brother have new, slightly pedantic, rivals

They've got a point, though. Death to incorrect apostrophe's.

Spotter's Badge: DH, Joe

Unable to leave the house because of dog poo anger

Gloucestershire Live: Yet there she is, outside the house


Spotter's Badge: Adrian

Friday, October 28, 2016

Sub-standard grass anger

Mordialloc Chelsea Leader: Strewth! You can't expect us to play on this grass, it's as dry as a witch's tit

Actual quotes, there*


Spotter's Badge: Timothy

Wrong logo someone's gonna get fisted anger

East York Chronicle: City council puts wrong logo on signs, and it's going to cost a small fortune to fix

This guy is positively seething about it, though I doubt many people care.

Not sure what to think about a man with a Blackberry holster.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Politicians reveal likeness for that Fifty Shades stuff anger

Middlewich Guardian: Labour councillors claim they are being gagged

... through the medium of duck tape with the word "gagged" written on it.

Spotter's Badge: Gareth

Aircraft noise anger

Surrey Mirror: Man who lives near airport upset at noise coming from airport

FACT: I live near an airport. It's OK really. The End.

Spotter's Badge: Rosie

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Waiting for the invention of matter transportation anger How are we supposed to get our car in the garage?

Good point well made.

Spotter's Badge: Stephen

Spent too long on a coach anger

Metro: Couple who went on a coach trip to Scotland complain that they spent too much time on a coach

Yeah, that's how long-distance coach holidays work, you maroons.

Spotter's Badge: Richard, Charlotte, Everybody

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Here's your litter back anger

Kent Live: Woman dumps bags of litter in school's reception

"Nothing to do with us," says the school.


Spotter's Badge: Rob C

Council won't take our sofa away anger

South Wales Argus: Couple pay to have furniture removed, doesn't happen

Christmas lights up in October? That's a public shamin'

Spotter's Badge: Gwyn

Monday, October 24, 2016

No more buses anger

Lancashire Evening Post: Man thumbs a lift after bus services scrapped

He's wearing his h-viz jacket back-to-front

Spotter's Badge: Karen, Andrew

Come back with my kiddiewinks anger

Nottingham Post: Tram moves off without two children


Spotter's Badge: Milan

Sunday, October 23, 2016

All fun and games until somebody spilts their head open anger

Daily Record: Man splits his head open on sign

See? We warned you.

Spotter's Badge: Jen

You're not getting the lollipop back either anger

Hull Daily Mail: Sacked lollipop man finds that the 'banter' defence doesn't actually work

Take notice, Donald Trump.

Spotter's Badge: Ian

Something about a new housing development anger

Norwich Evening News: Something about a new housing estate and legal action, but just look at those faces

One clock-stopping stare and one look of abject terror

Spotter's Badge: Paul, Chris

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Fuming over his BT landline anger

Gazette Series: Bloke slightly miffed after BT disconnects his phone by mistake

Aww, bless. People still use landlines.

Spotter's Badge: David

Bus driver having a bad day anger

Bournemouth Echo: Bus driver takes it out on student, quits his job


Can't park my car where I want anger

Hull Daily Mail: Newsagent protests parking fine for leaving his car on crossing's zig-zag lines while unloading

"Why is the bin lorry allowed to stop on double yellow lines, but I'm not allowed to park my car on zig-zags by a pedestrian crossing?" asks man who has presumably passed a driving test.

Spotter's Badge: L0wey, And somebody else but I lost the email

Friday, October 21, 2016

Murky goings on in the world of bell-ringing anger

York Press: Fury, editorials in The Times, as York Minister sacks 30 bell-ringers

A real DING-DONG, eh readers?!?!?!

[Warning: Item and associated comments are so long they reach the centre of the Earth]

Spotter's Badge: Erin

Tory hotel price protest anger

London Evening Standard: Councillor sleeps in his car in protest against high hotel prices at the Conservative Party Conference

Look at him with his bottle of wine and his ...err... dog bowl.

Spotter's Badge: Andy

False cheese anger

Northern Echo: Diners warned that local takeaways are passing off 'false cheese' 

And here is the false cheese in production:

Spotter's Badge: Leanne, Anne-Marie

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Important shed violation anger

Cambrian News: Pwllheli man told to demolish shed he put up in shared garden to keep his wife's mobility scooter which is presumably the size of a bus

I went to Pwllheli earlier this year, and this shed is among the high points of the place.

Spotter's Badge: Tim

Tattoo shop terror anger

Shropshire Star: Tattoo shop is latest victim in local crime spree

"They stole all our curly celtic designs and our Chinese-English dictionary!"

Spotter's Badge: Tim

Stop stealing from my lady garden anger Garden thief is caught red-handed

So much sexy slang I could put here. But I won't

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Wrecked football pitch anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Thieves set fire to car after performing doughnuts on football pitch

It'll buff out.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Horse and cart anger

South Wales Argus: MP says Pony Express would be quicker than texting for email in this part of Wales

Hey look! It's Lil' Sebastian!

Spotter's Badge: Rob E

Fed up of high electricity bills anger Campaign group to take on power company over bills

With those scowls they're already halfway to victory

And here's Sir Patrick Moore-a-like's solo effort:

Spotter's Badge: Murray, Marie

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Homing pigeons going to the wrong home anger

Lancashire Telegraph: New owners upset that homing pigeons are still arriving at their house

So they locked them in the wendy house. Smart.

Spotter's Badge: Chris, Karen

Stolen letters anger

Guernsey Press: Thieves steal letters from community centre sign to make it spell swears

And I can reveal that the swear was not inadjacent to See You Next Tuesday.

Spotter's Badge: Tony

Leaning sign of Watford anger

Watford Observer: Wonky Give Way sign 'makes Watford a laughing stock'

No, the place was ridiculous waaaaay before that

Spotter's Badge: TRT, Everybody

Monday, October 17, 2016

You murdered our tree anger

Yorkshire Evening Post: Kiddiewinks left heartbroken after chainsaw-wielding fool cuts down their conker tree

Have you ever seen such devastation? Oh, my stars

Spotter's Badge: David

Think of the reckless kiddiewinks anger

Cambridge News: Man fears for the lives of The Kids who play chicken with oncoming buses

Mainly because that's the dog's job.

Spotter's Badge: Al

Goodbye to our beloved phone box anger

South Wales Evening Post: Village loses its last public toilet BT phone box

But the smell will linger on for decades.

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Sunday, October 16, 2016

School milk theft anger

Southwark News: 800 cartons of milk stolen from primary school

Here's a police image of the suspect:

As they say on Crimewatch: Don't have nightmares.

Spotter's Badge: Graham

School vandalism makes the kiddiewinks sad anger

Hexham Courant: Wind changes while these kiddiewinks were making sad faces, and now they're stuck like that

See what you've done, school vandals? LOOK AT THEIR FACES YOU SCUM.

Spotter's Badge: Hannah

Bowling green maintenance anger

Stourbridge News: Bowlers likely to win battle with council over who gets to look after their green

And look at their happy little faces!

Spotter's Badge: Jacob

Wrong school shoes anger

Chepstow Free Press: Girl told her shoes are "too chunky" for school. Mum disagrees

There is - of course - no picture of angry mum

Spotter's Badge: Jim

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Slow speed internet anger

Exeter Express and Echo: Residents trying to raise £5,000 to upgrade their internet cabinet to something superfast

They've got £50 so far.

Thanks to modern technology, here's how they see the picture above:

Spotter's Badge: Simon, Geoff

Who's going to pay for my damaged Porsche anger

Rossendale Free Press: Woman upset that her car got chipped just two days after she bought it

Oh, the humanity.

My advice is this: Dump the Porsche and drive a 1997 Nissan Micra. Number of shits given if it picks up a ding: No shits.

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Overgrown wasteland anger

Dundee Evening Telegraph: It's like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder how I keep from goin' under


Spotter's Badge: George