Sunday, September 30, 2012

Rubbish Protest Placards anger

North East Journal Live: Campaigners resort to Father Ted tactics as plan for open-cast mine given go-ahead

"Careful now!"

"Down with this sort of thing!"

Spotter's Badge: Sarah

Something about potholes anger

"Done a poo"

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Vandalised bus shelter anger

Blackpool Gazette: Council may install mesh barriers as bus shelters vandalised

Despite this being a red rag to a bull, only one commentard calls for beating the vandals to death.

Suspended vicar anger

Bournemouth Echo: Churchgoers want suspended prisest's return

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, and it's not that. He's being accused of doing a "Father Ted"

Smashed flowerbed anger

Billericay Gazette: Councillors furious as vandals flatten flowers

"I'd flatten her garden" (If, for example, she was plagued by mole hills)

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Needles in warehouse anger

Blackpool Gazette: Firefighters warn of "death trap" warehouse

Commentards' solution: A large sign saying "KEEP OUT". Not sure if serious.

Big plant not-angry-at-all

Bournemouth Echo: Woman, 69, gets hand on huge plant

Nominations for Local Press Photo of the Year now closed. WE HAVE A WINNER

Overgrown path anger

Blackpool Gazette: Man's anger at overgrown footpath

A Study in "Do It Yourself"

Leisure centre anger

Manchester Evening News: Market traders fight plans for giant new leisure centre

I wouldn't spend my leisure time with her

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Friday, September 28, 2012

Taxi driver anger

Blackpool Gazette: Anger as road closed to "beat congestion"

Close the road. That'll work. See their logic.

Smelly pond anger

Bournemouth Echo: Horrible smell coming from Poole

No change there, then

Sailing club anger

Melton News: Fury as sailing club forced to close

I wouldn't splice her mainbrace

Spotter's Badge: Nick

Lack of phone anger

Portsmouth News: Residents complain at lack of phone lines

...and pretend that none of them have a mobile

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Awesome pictures of men shot in the groin in local newspapers

Crawley News: Groom shot in the penis in stag party paintball accident  

This accident happened in July. His face is still like that.

Trapped in lift anger

Cambridge News: 'Nightmare' as family gets stuck in lift

That is some impressive facial hair, sir.

Spotter's Badge: Al, James

Old phone anger

Vancouver Sun: Woman still paying rental for 50-year-old phone

And she's still got payments outstanding for two tin cans and a length of string

Also, Dom Joly wants his MASSIVE phone back.

Spotter's Badge: Jennifer

Free parking anger

Yorkshire Evening Post: Anger over plans to axe free Sunday parking

"I'd pay to park my vehicle" (No, really, I'm a law-abiding citizen)

Spotter's Badge: Paul

No electricity anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Fury as homes left without electricity for two days

It's not until you reach the bottom of the story that you get to the telling words "illegally connected to the network". Whoops!

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Pub licence anger

Hull Daily Mail: Licensing glitch means pub loses out on thousands in trade

If only there was some sort of "landlord" at the pub who knew when his licence expired....

Spotter's Badge: L0wey

Speed bump anger

Crawley Observer: Man unhappy with state of speed bumps


Spotter's Badge: Skuds

Grabbed by the ghoulies anger

Hartlepool Mail: Ghostbusters brought in over haunted social club

"One committee member even reported having his belt buckle removed while he was alone upstairs."

That's his excuse, and he's sticking to it.

Spotter's Badge: Stevens

Street light anger

Cambridge News: Angry bloke confused as old street lights not taken away

Those are the kiddie pole dance poles the council are leaving for the kiddiewinks.

Spotter's Badge: Al

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Attacked by owl anger

Shields Gazette: Teenager jogger attacked by owl

OK, not strictly an angry story, but if you can't laugh at kids being attacked by vicious flesh-eating creatures, what can you do?

Aussie pothole anger

Geelong Advertiser: Readers 'have had enough of pothole epidemic'

For the second time today: "I'd fill her holes" (So that she doesn't damage her car)

Shop parking ticket anger

Reading Evening Post: Driver in stand-off with council over ticket for parking on the pavement

Jury's out. He could actually own the land, in which the Council can bugger right off.

Pavement hole anger

Blackpool Gazette: Hole lot of danger as pavement crumbles

"I'd fill her hole" (With a large quantity of concrete)

Play equipment anger

Get Bracknell: Mum backs down over play equipment in communal garden

You know, I think Sinbad out of Brookside's a bit old for swings

Monday, September 24, 2012

Carnt spel anger

Basingstoke Gazette: Dismay, crouching as housing association makes spelling mistake

I see she's got a copy of Collins. If you check the OED, you'll find "visiter" is a perfectly cromulent word*.

Spotter's Badge: Rob


Worm in juice carton anger

Cambrian News: Man finds worm in carton of juice

At least it wasn't half a worm. Or a dog's penis

Spotter's Badge: James

Sheltered housing scheme anger

Sussex Courier: Residents face being booted out of rather swish shletered accomodation

"A decision will be made in October after consultation responses have been considered, ignored, and a property developer arrives with one of those huge cheques you only ever see held up during Children In Need"

For legal reasons, I should point out that this scenario WILL NOT happen

Bad E-fit

Mansfield Chad: Wanted: Man who has had accident with dot-matrix printer

Don't have nightmares

Dog poo graffiti anger

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Councillor on crusade to spray paint dog crap with graffiti

One from the Not Fully Thought Through Department

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Bunting anger

Portsmouth News: Anger as bunting taken down before people have stopped being happy

It's got to come down. The Christmas decorations are already a month behind schedule

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Bus attack anger

Blackpool Gazette: Dismay over 'despicable' attack on community group's minibus

I'd smash her back doors in (Just to make sure the criminals aren't planning a further surprise attack)

Church vandalism anger

Reading Evening Post: Council - for some reason - to stump up as vandals wreck wall belonging to church

Love the fact that's there's always somebody in the comments for articles like this calling for a return to medieval standards. How about a bit of hand-chopping for thieves, too

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Supermarket cash payment anger

Portsmouth News: Supermarket refuses to accept £100 payment in £2 coins

I'd giver her some small change. No... wait...

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Post office anger

Mornington Peninsula Leader: Residents demand posties deliver parcels to their homes

Rare sighting of C-3PO and R2-D2 out of costume

Wants a bigger flat anger

Reading Evening Post: Man's plea for bigger flat after baby arrives

In which a bit of research on Facebook by one of the commenters finds that the gentlemen's existence isn't [allegedly] quite as desperate as he makes out. Whoops-a-daisy!

Bad E-fit

This is Total Essex: People release e-fit in search for sex offender

They shouldn't have any trouble catching this guy - he looks EXACTLY like the Essex Police badge

Don't have nightmares

Friday, September 21, 2012

Supermarket trollies anger

Sussex Courier: Clipboard enthusiast claims supermarket trollies ARE DEATH ON WHEELS

No, they're not.

Spotter's Badge: Skuds

Disruptive roadworks anger

Bournemouth Echo: Fury as roadworks bring chaos to village shops and pubs

The old "No, I haven't crapped myself, I'm slightly too tall to lean against this barrier" crouch

Playground age limit anger

Oxford Mail: Council accused of not thinking of the kiddiewinks as friends split up by age limit

Come on, THE KIDS, stick it to THE MAN

Bus lane fine anger

Reading Evening Post: Taxi drivers mistakenly fined for driving in bus lane


Thursday, September 20, 2012

Security shutters anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Bacup businessman hits out at ban on roller shutters

You could say that the council has - oh-ho! - his "Bacup" against the wall.

I'll get me coat.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Lost wedding dress anger

Portsmouth News: Bride left in lurch hopes to get dress back as shop closes

Honestly, bridal shops have a shorter half-life than double glazing businesses these days

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Dangerous litter anger

Essex Echo: Park 'blighted' by dangerous litter

"I'd show her my junk" (Before discussing responsible ways of disposing of it at a local rubbish tip)

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Bikes on footpaths anger

Crawley News: Pensioners 'taking law into own hands' over people cycling on footpaths


Spotter's Badge: Skuds

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Fifty Shades of Anger, again

Coventry Telegraph: Woman threatened with legal action over 'Fifty Shades' parties

It's not until you reach the ninth paragraph that we get to the nitty-gritty (not sexy slang)

Spotter's Badge: Rob, Gary

House Demolition anger (featuring Incredible Hat anger)

Logan West Leader: Man upset that his house to be demolished to make way for inter-stellar by-pass OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT HAT


(Click on picture to see HAT in its incredible hatty glory)

Spotter's Badge: Clotilde

Posh village bell-end anger

Kent Online: Workman discovers that residents of posh Kent village are the most enormous bell-ends

That's Chestfield in Kent. Bell-ends.