Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Poo Alley anger



Bexley News Shopper: Man claims Poo Alley a health hazard for kids

Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Spotter's Badge: James

Housing plans anger


Essex Echo: Anger as plans for 600 new homes win approval

Surely the best sideboards ever to feature on these pages

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Swedish mouse anger, in Swedish


Folkbladet: Swedish man tries to withdraw cash, receives mouse instead

In other news: Swedish Chef loses vital ingredient

Spotter's Badge: Studley

Play centre anger


Hull Daily Mail: Parents unite to save soft play centre

Our spotter says: The problem is, in Hull we don't like soft play - that's for soft southern nancies. We want hard play with sharp edges and concrete.

Spotter's Badge: Peter

Pink Bag Anger


Essex Echo: Shortage of pink bags amid recycling frenzy

...despite making them pink, and everything

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Speeding traffic anger


Reading Evening Post: Dad's fears over speeding traffic during school run

Just to point out that's NOT his hair by his feet. That is all.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Lack of heating anger


Crawley News: Housing association urged to fix heating after two years

Our spotter says: 'Heating system woe' - Does anybody ever say 'woe' outside a newsroom?

I say: Why, YES and I've got a whole book of it.

Spotter's Badge: Skuds

Bread compensation anger


Hull Daily Mail: Mum's anger at 47p compensation after finding drill bit in bread

And it's your super soaraway Hull Daily Mail who puts 'found' in weasel quotes

Spotter's Badge: Peter

134 Potholes Anger


East Grinstead Courier and Observer: Residents complain of 134 potholes on street

That's nothing - they found 4,000 in Blackburn, Lancashire

Spotter's Badge: Rob

School uniform anger


Reading Evening Post: Schoolgirls in battle over the wrong trousers

...and they've gone wrong!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Crouchy pointy dog poo anger


Halesowen News: Clean up potentially fatal dog poop, says local Labour candidate

She says, squatting suspiciously in the gutter

Bus service anger, again


Morley Observer: Pensioners slightly miffed at poor bus service

Also, Angry Santa

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Cafe break-in anger


Portsmouth News: Dismay as £1,800 stolen as cafe raided for second time

And yes, leaving a metric shitload of cash on the premises with no alarm or CCTV leads to a good kicking from the commentards

Spotter's Badge: Jon

New development anger


Hendon and Finchley Times: Anger as street to be overshadowed by new flats

Excellent fist-shaking fury.

Spotter's Badge: David

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Hill Fort anger


Sheffield Star: Community protests against homes plan on site of hill fort

Surely one of the shoddiest protest placards I have ever seen

Spotter's Badge: Maggi

Road junction anger


Halifax Courier: Road junction 'an accident waiting to happen' say campaigners

Solution: Blow this photo up to ten feet by ten feet, display at road junction. That'll stop any driver dead in their tracks

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Monopoly anger


Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Family upset as Bradford edition of Monopoly has cards for Plymouth version

I am reliably informed that the first comment is a troll. Played, sir!

Spotter's Badge: John

Breast implant anger


Manchester Evening News: Women left 'in limbo' as private clinic which supplied sub-standard implants goes ...err... bust

And the sort of commentard sympathy that makes you want to leave the planet

Spotter's Badge: Charlotte

Friday, January 27, 2012

Hairdresser anger


Middlesbrough Gazette Live: Parking plan could threaten hairdresser's business, says sultry hairdresser

I dare say I'd ...er... let her do pretty much what she wants

Spotter's Badge: Charlotte

Raw sewage anger


Sheffield Star: Dad's anger after blockage causes garden to flood with sewage

I've looked long and hard at this photo, and ask: What's holding him up?

Spotter's Badge: Geoff

More raw sewage anger


Watford Observer: Raw sewage flows into estate after pump failure

Our spotter points out that it took them seven days to notice

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Abandoned snake anger


Shropshire Star: Shock as 8-foot anaconda dumped on man's doorstep

One for the ladies: I expect you'd like to do something with his snake

Spotter's Badge: Peter

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Student flats anger


Manchester Evening News: Woman living in studentland launches campaign against students

They'll eat her alive. If they could be bothered to get out of bed. Right, kids?

Spotter's Badge: Charlotte, Maria, Smyth

Dead hen anger


Wolverhampton Express and Star: Woman upset as vandals kill hen

You know how I feel about making snarky comments about crime victims on these pages, so SHUT IT.

Also: Catch these tossers who did it. That is all.

Spotter's Badge: Martyn

High winds anger


Bournemouth Echo: Impotent rage as high winds blow over recycling bins

Oh, the humanity!

Council house anger


Jarrow and Hebburn Gazette: House is unfit for my kids, says angry woman

Well, yeah, it is a craphole

Spotter's Badge: Russ

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Shameless self-promotion

Greetings APILN readers!

My other website, the grammatically incorrect Scaryduck: Not Scary, Not a Duck has been nominated for a Funniest Blog in the UK award.

Why not go HERE and give me your vote? I will be your special, best friend FOREVER and will post a picture of myself pointing angrily at something.

Your pal, AC

Crisp Packet Anger


Manchester Evening News: Man awarded £3,500 after choking on rubber in crisp packet

He's got the X FACTOR!

Spotter's Badge: Charlotte, Maria, Smyth

Grenade not angry at all


Wakefield Express: Mild panic as live grenade found at Asda store

That's nothing. Have you seen those Tesco Value Anti-Personnel Mines?

Spotter's Badge: Paul

School uniform anger, again


Birmingham Mail: Parents angry as school enforces uniform rules

"I can't afford to get him new shoes", she says, brandishing a pair of £70 trainers

*facepalm*

Spotter's Badge: Martyn

Help for Heroes anger


Bournemouth Echo: Mind-bending fury as 'scum' steal cash from Help for Heroes charity pot

"These people have got no respect and a complete lack of conscious," Mr Alderson said.

FIXED THAT FOR YOU:

"These people have got no respect and when we've finished with them they will no longer be conscious."

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Park group anger


Batley News: Friends of local park unable to carry out their annual human sacrifice unless they can find new members

That can be the only reason for the nervous look on the face of the lady on the right

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Tartan tat anger


Edinburgh Evening News: Fears of more tat shops as traders pull out of Edinburgh's Royal Mile

"Do as I say, or I strangle this cat"

Spotter's Badge: Caroline

Street box anger


Staffordshire Newsletter: Britain in Bloom bid put in jeopardy thanks to appearance of ugly box on High Street

In true Hot Fuzz style, they'll be sorting out the crusty jugglers next

Spotter's Badge: Jeremy

Monday, January 23, 2012

Scantily clad anger


Worcester News: Mother-of-four wonders why she has been barred from local night clubs

I admit that my first reaction was "That's a tranny right?" Does that make me a bad person?

Spotter's Badge: James, L0wey

And a big welcome to visitors from Mumsnet. This moment is probably the very pinnacle of this site's work.

Speed limit anger


Yorkshire Evening Post: Councillor fears fatal accident unless speed limit is reduced at notorious junction

Formerly known as Mastur Bayton Lane, that sign covers any number of unpleasant sights

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Car clamped anger


Halifax Courier: Bill S Preston Esq has a bogus adventure after his car is clamped, despite his pregnant princess babe sitting inside

No way!

WAY!

Spotter's Badge: George

No TV signal anger


Essex Echo: Residents furious as communal satellite dish breaks down and leaves flats without TV

Excuse me while I find my tiny, tiny violin

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Bakery noise anger


London Evening Standard: Bakery faces closure after complaint about late-night noise

I'd let her show me her buns

Spotter's Badge: Ben

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Dead chicken anger


Yorkshire Evening Post: Theft of quad bike from school allows foxes to get in and kill chickens TO DEATH

And once again, the massacre of school chickens the length and breadth of the country goes on unabated

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Pouty parking ticket anger


Crawley News: High-profile support as Richard Nixon fights parking ticket

Pout of the Year, and it's only January

Spotter's Badge: Skuds

Council tax anger


North Norfolk News: Businessman slams court warning over £1 council tax bill

Pay it in 100 weekly installments. That'll learn them.

Spotter's Badge: Caroline

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Social club anger


Yorkshire Evening Post: Dismay as social club members get £33 windfall from sale of club

Looks more like the world's worst identity parade

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Health consultation anger


Yorkshire Evening Post: People concerned about consultation over moves to re-locate clinics

Only one of these people is angry. Can you tell which one it is?

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Apple Theft Anger


Edinburgh Evening News: Anger as people take all the apples from community garden

YET HE HAS AN APPLE

Spotter's Badge: Caroline

Car parking anger, yet again


Portsmouth News: Driving instructor gets fine for parking in car park of his sister's pub

...with a look on his face that tells of a future accidental running over of a foot on a zebra crossing. Live in Waterlooville and need to learn to drive? This is your man.

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Friday, January 20, 2012

Gravel anger


Oxford Mail: Campaign group objects to council gravel extraction plans

And clearly the poshest person ever to appear on these pages

Full bin anger


Morley Observer: Residents fume as bins not emptied after nine weeks

"I'd stuff her green bin and bounce up and down on it until the lid was shut"

New town plan anger


Wakefield Express: Shopkeeps angry at plans to re-develop town centre

"I'd park her round the back of the Town Hall"

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Collapsed ceiling anger


York Press: Family's ceiling collapses after plumbers fail to find fault

To be fair, Mario and Luigi WERE off rescuing a princess.

Spotter's Badge: @L0wey