Thursday, June 30, 2016

Van theft anger

Wolverhampton Express and Star: Brothers have £1,000 worth of gardening gear stolen from the back of their van while in B&Q

That van is also plenty big enough for the broken bodies of the culprits.

Spotter's Badge: James

Vomit cruise anger

Geelong Advertiser: Couple upset by vomit, the galloping shits and breakdowns on cruise holiday

Pardon me if I'm wrong, but that's the entire cruise experience in a nutshell, isn't it?

Spotter's Badge: Michael

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Man vs Aldi anger

Lancashire Telegrpah: Business owner in dispute over supermarket chain over fence

But never mind the story: HAT

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Cat poo protein pot anger

Metro: Woman claims she found cat poo in her Tesco protein pot

It's not cat poo. It's protein. Pure protein. Cat flavoured.

Spotter's Badge: Angela, TRT

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Low level crime anger

Burnley Express: Business owner 'aghast' as vandals rip his signs

Bit of gaffer, and you'll be fine.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Set fire to our stuff anger

Portsmouth News: Trouser theft victim also victim of arsonists who destroyed family treasures

And straight into the comments we go, where there is a distinct lack of sympathy because Britain is full of shitgibbons.

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Monday, June 27, 2016

Stop giving us your weird rubbish anger

Aberdeen Evening Express: Shelter would quite like people to stop giving them rubbish

I once helped out with a charity drive - somebody donated a huge box of half-used toothpaste tubes and second-hand tooth brushes, the enormous arse.

Spotter's Badge: David

Somerset potholes anger

Weston Mercury: Is this the worst road in North Somerset?

a) Probably

b) Nice pointing

Spotter's Badge: Jane

Sunday, June 26, 2016

'Leaf' our tree alone anger

Wimbledon Guardian: Campaign to prevent tree being cut down as part of new development

That ABBA reunion isn't look great.

Spotter's Badge: Charles, Simon

South African potholes anger

Northglen News: Local authority puts up signs instead of fixing potholes

They ARE very nice signs, though.


Saturday, June 25, 2016

Wall repair anger

Aldershot News and Mail: Couple object to paying their share of repairs to listed wall

Wellington drunkenly shinned over that wall to get back into barracks, you ingrates.

Batty breakfast anger

Daily Record: Woman finds a bat in her Rice Krispies

They're really running out of ideas for free gifts in cereals these days

Friday, June 24, 2016

Streetlight yellow ribbon anger

Cambridge News: Residents 'appalled' by lamp post replacement scheme

RIP street lite u r in heven wiv da angles n Princess di now xxx

Spotter's Badge: Ivy

Japanese knotweed anger

Hull Daily Mail: This plant could destroy our entire civilisation


Spotter's Badge: L0wey

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Pub bunting health and safety gone mad anger

Manchester Evening News: Landlord told to take down bunting over health and safety fears

Too right, it could fall off and strangle a kiddiewink.

Spotter's Badge: Jen

Stop flytipping in my street anger

Stoke Sentinel: Mo from EastEnders wants people to stop dumping furniture round the Square

That's not flytipping, that's a community resource for people who get tired walking short distances.

Spotter's Badge: Rob, Hazel

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Cycle lane anger

Dominion Post: New cycle way has RUINED OUR COMMUNITY FOREVER

Look at that cyclist, riding along in comparative safety, spoiling everything for everybody. What a bastard.

Spotter's Badge: Joseph

Rivers of poo anger

Timaru Herald: Bloke upset about dumped effluent 

Whenever we get a story featuring somebody pointing at poo, we allow ourselves a small celebration.

Parp! Whoopee!

That's enough celebrating.

Spotter's Badge: Marie

Big tree blocking my Sky dish anger

Hartlepool Mail: Bloke claims he can't watch TV because tree is in the way of his satellite dish, and why oh why oh why can't somebody else do something about it?

Try the internet. The internet fixes everything.

Spotter's Badge: Jeremy

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Sinking drive anger

Kent Online: Man's drive collapses two days after contractors install water meter

The real story, picked up in the comments, is why hasn't he weeded his drive, and they are correct.

Spotter's Badge: Rob C

Not Quite Dead anger

Manchester Evening News: Man surprised to receive a letter commiserating him on his recent death

Run with it mate, you'll get away with ANYTHING.

Spotter's Badge: Charlotte

Golliwog tea towel anger

Bournemouth Echo: Shopkeep disqualified from arts festival over Golliwog tea towel

The Isle of Purbeck, twinned with the 1950s.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Speeding in Ludlow anger

Ludlow Advertiser: Do you drive too fast around Ludlow? Then stop it, you plank

Strong pointing skills

Spotter's Badge: Simon

All kicking off at Saffron Walden Starbucks anger

Saffron Walden Reporter: Some customers at Starbucks in Saffron Walden may have been charged twice

Call the Saffron Walden cops!

Spotter's Badge: Ben

Taxi rank anger

Nottingham Post: Visitor to city not impressed by long walk from railway station to taxi rank

a) HAT, sir

b) How about setting up some sort of shuttle service between the two? People with cars, you give them money and...


Spotter's Badge: Jon

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Cinema in danger anger

Bexley News Shopper: Cinema could close due to business rate increase

Let us ignore the socks and sandals on the right and turn our attention to the gentleman in the middle. Fabulous trousers or a sarong?

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Toilet too near my house anger

Border Mail: Woman doesn't want a toilet to be built 30 metres (98 feet) from her house

It's worse than she thinks. THERE'S ONE INSIDE HER HOME RIGHT NOW.

Spotter's Badge: Meredith

Messy garden anger Christchurch resident told off over the state of his garden

And an actual quote:

Neighbour Liana Tawhara said Savage's home "sticks out like dog's balls" in a street where people took pride in their properties. 

Well, that's fair enough.

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Covered in turds anger

Aberdeen Evening Express: Kid gets covered in poo on playing field, mum goes to the paper

You can tell what the look on the girl's face is saying: "Well, that's my nickname for the rest of my school life sorted."

Spotter's Badge: David

Firefighters charity theft anger

Frankston Standard Leader: Firefighters vow to shit up the dags who stole $400 in charity donations

"Wait.... I can smell smoke"

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Live locust anger

Henley Standard: Bloke finds a live locust in his bag of salad

Henley-on-Thames is now a barren wasteland. Well done, everybody

Friday, June 17, 2016

Bad chip thin white duke anger

Manchester Evening News: Grandmother finds something horrible in her bag of Asda chips

BOWIE IS BACK, in mouldy chip form.

Spotter's Badge: Mario, Charlotte

Traffic island anger

Wiltshire Times: Man to take council to small claims court over "badly kept" traffic island

This one could go all the way to the ECHR. Look at the state of those cords.

Goth kicked out of pub anger

Chronicle Live: Goth not allowed in pub after being accused of wearing fancy dress

Calling a goth "fancy" is just as bad as it gets. Look at him, standing in his bedroom window, listening to something not-fancy-at-all by Bauhaus.

Spotter's Badge: Alex

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Not a shoplifter anger

Manchester Evening News: Man still fuming after being wrongly accused of stealing over a month ago

"Go on, give us your angriest look"

And click through for the shop's non-apology in the final paragraph. A masterpiece of not being sorry in the slightest.

Spotter's Badge: Charlotte, Rick

Metal bollard anger

Chorley Guardian: Residents claim victory in battle over bollards

What a strange photo.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Vegas holiday ruined anger

Chronicle Live: Group's Vegas break UTTERLY RUINED because plane was overbooked

On the bright side, rifle through the comments to find 1947gnomely has finally caught up with you after giving him the slip for fifty years

Spotter's Badge: Tarquin Foxglove

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Shoplifting anger

Marlborough Express: Stop stealing stuff from our shop, it makes us sad

Police say "Shoplifters were motivated by a variety of factors, including greed"

Yeah, thanks for that, Sherlock.

Spotter's Badge: Joseph

Civic Society anger

Bridgwater Mercury: Locals angry after council decides to block off historic gateway

Our spotter says: I hope it doesn't get blocked up - it's an excellent spot to have a whizz on the way back home from the pub.

...which is the precise reason the council have given for their plan.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Shopkeeps' car parking anger

Norwich Evening News: Shopkeeps say parking enforcement company is driving their customers away

I believe this is the first ever use of a whiteboard as a prop in the history of this site. So excited right now.

Spotter's Badge: Matthew

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Long grass think of the kiddiewinks anger

Basildon Recorder: The kiddiewinks won't be able to play outside because the council hasn't cut the grass

I should expect the kiddiewinks have bigger things on their mind

Spotter's Badge: Justin

Rubbish tip anger

Huddersfield Examiner: Man told he can only use the local tip 12 times a year under new scheme

The new scheme - however - offers unlimited use of hedgerows

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Menacing tree anger

Stoke Sentinel: Drivers sick of parking under tree and finding their cars covered in bird crap

With a picture of a poo, in case you didn't know what a poo looks like.

"This tree is a menace to everyone who has a car," they say. 
I've just been outside, and there it was, in the car park, sneaking up on my Nissan Micra.
Spotter: Mark

Monday, June 13, 2016

Didn't get a school place anger

Swindon Advertiser: Parents say they'll have to homeschool daughter after finding their preferred school is full

Bez (left) and Jennifer Saunders (centre) struggling to see the funny side.

Spotter's Badge: Joseph

Replacement bin charge anger

Barnsley Chronicle: Chap objects to paying £20 fee to replace his damaged wheelie bin

Nice touch with the crouching. And the £20 note. And the carpet slippers.

Spotter's Badge: Barry, Kristen

We want plates anger Man banned from his local pub for demanding his chips on a plate

Right behind you, beardy. This is a disgrace.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Sunday, June 12, 2016

This is why people get turned off by religion anger

Nottingham Post: Woman tries to buy Communion Bible from religious bookshop, finds out that their Christian charity doesn't stretch to Catholics

What would Jesus do? I'm pretty sure He and His mates would dump a load of rotten fish heads in their doorway.

Spotter's Badge: Sophie

Rubbish bin collection anger

Prince Edward Island Guardian: 'I live on an island in the middle of nowhere, and the least the binmen can do is empty my bin properly'

Don't worry, they'll fit you in when they come back next year.

Spotter's Badge: Peter

Bit of plastic in her seafood anger

Shields Gazette: Woman's Iceland feast utterly ruined by a bit of plastic

"I looked at it and it looks like it’s come from the lid of a pen."

You're not getting a spotter's badge for that.
Spotter's Badge: Paul