Monday, May 31, 2010

Even more World Cup urban myth anger

Streatham Guardian: Disabled footie fan barred from pub over England flag

It's not just political correctness gone mad, it's "political correctness gone berserk"

Spotter's Badge: Gert

Vandalism anger

York Press: Kids squat and point in fury as new park is trashed

I see Sherlock Holmes is in the comments, advocating running dog poo through a DNA test.

There's a blog to be made about inane newspaper comments. Somebody else do it.

Bus theft anger

Southampton Daily Echo: Thieves steal parts from wheelchair bus

So, if you're offered a catalytic converter by a man in a pub, the phone number is this: 999.

That number again: 999

CCTV anger

Bournemouth Echo: Shopkeep to stop giving CCTV footage to police after they can't be arsed to investigate crime

Hit 'em where it hurts. Gob on their doughnuts.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

More World Cup urban myth anger

Worksop Guardian: Bogus cops tell driver to remove England flags

Super 'fed up' posing.

Spotter's Badge: Maggi

Vandalism anger

Waltham Forest Guardian: Vandals wreck public garden

With all-too-predictable "bring back the birch" comment in the "Your Say" section.

Tax Code Anger

This is Somerset: Angry pensioner so angry over his 13 tax codes, he buys a bunch of lottery tickets

Take that, THE MAN!

Spotter's Badge: Robert

Complete lack of perspective anger

Dorset Echo: Locals vow to chain themselves to trees over holiday park plans

"We never had a fence there before and their excuse is to keep paedophiles out. It looks like Auschwitz."

Bloody. Hell's. Teeth.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Crossover anger

Bexley News Shopper: Householder's fury as council rips up new crossover

Sorry, I don't speak Bexley. What's a crossover?

Spotter's Badge: Martin

Bus gate anger

Oxford Mail: Shopkeeps furious as council decides to enforce traffic laws

A superb double-whammy from the Mail. Jolly well done.

Prison anger (again)

Yellow Advertiser: NIMBYs who were angry in an earlier story still angry

And brilliantly, if they do build a prison in Runwell, all he has to do is to paint over the word "NO" and his van retains its value.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Bogus caller anger

Worcester News: Fury as bogus official asks man for bank details

Tell me, mate. Your bank details are safe with us.

Spotter's Badge: James

Bad e-fit

South Yorks Star: Police search for mobile phone robber

Bloody hell - it's the Green Goblin!

Don't have nightmares.

Spotter's badge: Maggi

Pothole anger

Louth Leader: Badly patched-up man well enough to point at potholes


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Cock anger

South West Times: Stop dumping your roosters on my wildlife park, says angry bloke


Spotter's badge: Michelle

College cuts anger

Dorset Echo: Student angry as college cutbacks disrupt her course

"I'd disrupt her course" is THE WRONG THING TO SAY

Recycling anger

Bexley Times: Anger over plans to recycle human poo

It all depends what they're going to be recylcing it into, of course. As a rule of thumb, Bourbon Biscuits = BAD.

Spotter's Badge: Martin

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Football shirt urban myth comes true anger

Dorset Echo: Football fan fuming after being told to remove 'racist' England shirt by police

Ladies: If a police officer tells you he wants you to remove your 'racist' football shirt, he only wants to see your tits. Do not remove your England shirt, unless you want him to see your tits.

That is all.


Peterborough Today: Angry families reject offer over HOLIDAY HELL

Warning: The punters are going harsh in the comments section. "Paid a fortune for a holiday? Fed raw sewage? That'll be your own fault then"

Boot camp anger

Reading Evening Post: Council bans fitness freak's boot camp from park

Believe me, you'll need a big lump of metal if you want to go for a walk there.

Housing association anger

Chorley Citizen: Anger as tennants hit with wrong charges

And now they're homeless and living in a hedge, you gits.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Weed anger

Star Phoenix (Canada): Upmarket residents dismayed by patch of weeds

"If you could step back. A bit further. A bit further..."

Spotter's Badge: Britt

Hole anger

Mandurah Coastal Times: Holes are the pits, says punning sub-editor

If the bearded guy sings, STOP HIM

Spotter's Badge: Pseudonymph

Golden Arches anger

Metro: Mum's fury as McDonald's Happy Meal comes with cigarette

Too right. She wanted the Hamburglar lighter as well.

Spotter's badge: Julia

HOLIDAY HELL anger, again

South West Times (Aus): Whinging Poms whinge in local rag over HOLIDAY HELL

Somebody send a Red Cross parcel or something, the poor devils

Spotter's Badge: Michelle

Tax demand anger

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Mum's fury over demand to pay back tax credits

Never mind her - the kid's REALLY cross

Spotter's badge: Wellers

Monday, May 24, 2010

Tourism anger

Dorset Echo: Traders anger as tourist information office finds new home

I've lived in Weymouth for eight years, and it appears that the default position for shopkeepers is furious.

So: Come to sunny Weymouth. See the angry shopkeeps. Make them angrier.

Playground anger

Oxford Mail: Anger as new playground described as 'death trap'

I've been to Didcot. They've been campaigning for a new death trap for YEARS

Spotter's Badge: Laura

Bus fare anger

Bournemouth Echo: Web designer thrown off bus after trying to pay with £20 note

If only there was some sort of secure electronic method of purchasing tickets by means of a network of linked computer systems.


Sunday, May 23, 2010

Irish money anger

Bournemouth Echo: Punter arrested, handcuffed and helped down a steep flight of concrete stairs over Irish twenty pound note

Important details of this story emerge in the final paragraph, as you'd expect.

Car park anger

Dorset Echo: Driver's fury as visit to DIY store ends in parking fine

"Now - who shall I complain to? The store manager, or the local paper?"

Recycling anger

Essex Echo: Party shop owner enraged over flytipping fine after leaving cardboard box next to bin

She asks: "What kind of commercial waste does a party shop produce?"

Answer: Dead clowns.

Spotter's Badge: Anon

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Cussing anger

Reading Evening Post: Mum's complaint over f***ing kids f***ing swearing on f***ing school bus

F***, yeah. You tell the f***ers.

Contains the all-too-predictable line: "Now, I am no prude but..."

Spotter's Badge: Nowtas

Swimming pool anger

Essex Echo: Dr Feelgood guitarist joins battle to save island pool

So, that makes him Dr FeelBAD about the whole issue, then.

Yeah, I'll shut up.

Spotter's Badge: @Satanspants

Car parking anger

Oxford Mail: Angry florist angry over new car park signs

He needs to calm down a bit. Somebody send him some flowers.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Phone line anger

Reading Evening Post: Taxi firm to sue BT after phone lines are cut

Never mind that. Is that a pony tail?

Spotter's Badge: Nowtas

Litter anger

Southampton Daily Echo: Furious resident fights back against fast food litter by ...err... dumping litter inside fast food restaurant

Yeah, I can see the point where you surrender the moral high ground, pal.

Speeding anger

Monmouth Today: Angry residents raise petition for speed humps

Never mind the speed humps - how about some climbing gear? That's one hell of a mountainside you're on.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Football fan anger

Southampton Daily Echo: Football fan fed up after council order to remove England flags

I've just heard the new version of Three Lions, and I'm going to support Germany in this World Cup until the people responsible are rounded up and exiled to a small island without any electricity.

Pothole anger

Welwyn and Hatfield Times: Councillor's fury at pothole menace

Superb crouching from the Lib Dem stalwart.

Crappy house anger

Royston Crow: Ill woman upset after council move her into craphole

She's getting a voucher. Whoop.

Spotter's Badge: Alan

Roadworks anger

Reading Evening Post: Roadworks leave caravan dwellers with rat infestation

And being only eight inches tall, they're all bloody terrified.

Spotter's Badge: Nowtas

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Landslip anger

Belfast Telegraph: Residents demand answers after landslip totals local street

Sorry pal, don't look at me.

Bad e-fit

Warrington Guardian: Man wanted for attack on woman

This scrote thinks it's fine to attack women. We think he's a tit in dire need of a good kick up the cludger and bloody ugly to boot. Call the police if you can help.

Don't have nightmares.

Dog poo anger

Wrexham Leader: Mum's anger over dog mess on school run

I'm sure poo hopscotch will take off in time for the 2012 Olympics.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Vandalism anger

Dorset Echo: Fury as vandals wreak trail of destruction round tourist park

They even put this chap's train through the wash at the wrong temperature, and now look at it. I'd be severely "dis-chuffed", too.

Care home anger, again

Bournemouth Echo: Yet another update on the camera-shy people of Swanage and their attempts to keep a local care home open

Don't fancy yours much

Museum closure anger

Macclesfield Express: Disappointment, only slight anger as Silk Museum to close

No more shall the smooth, smooth silk play across warm, yearning thighs …err… as you were

Cycle access anger

Hendon and Finchley Times: Anger as posh people can't get their bikes down cycle route

It's like living in a police state sometimes.