Bad e-fit

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Have you seen this man?

Outside of a zombie film, obviously.

Don't have nightmares.

Wrong soil anger

Manchester Evening News: Allotment owners say nothing will grow in the soil dumped on their plots

The council - in their defence - said they got a remarkably good deal for the stuff, imported from Fukushima.

Spotter's Badge: Charlotte

Clegg pothole anger

Sheffield Star: With an election looming, Nick Clegg notices holes in the road in his home constituency

DONE A POO

Bike theft anger

Wolverhampton Express and Star: Man sick of having his bike stolen

"I asked a city centre warden where the safest place to leave my bike would be and he said 'at home'."

Spotter's Badge: Oh, wait. Me.

Give my dog back anger

Norwich Evening News: Man can't afford £300 to pay dog wardens to get his dog back

1. Dress up in a zip-up dog suit
2. Hang around Norwich City Centre until dog wardens pick you up
3. Bingo! You're in!
4. Grab your dog, escape.

Spotter's Badge: Dave

No CCTV anger

Epping Forest Guardian: Council charges residents for CCTV system that doesn't exist

Nice try, the council.

Spotter's Badge: Beth

Exploding candle anger

Swindon Advertiser: Exploding decorative candle 'could probably have taken out half of Swindon, or something'

The level of detail in the story is mind-boggling.

Spotter's Badge: Louise

F-Word anger

Brentwood Gazette: Art dealer forced to cover up the f-word on painting

The miserable f-ers

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Parking survey anger

Oxford Mail: Delay to parking survey

In case you were wondering what Jimmy Nail's up to these days

Spotter's Badge: Richard

No street lights anger

Cambridge News: Residents left with no street lights for weeks

I was about to dismiss this as a standard crowd scene, but what the devil is the chap with the waistcoat wearing? Apart from the waistcoat, obviously.

Spotter's Badge: Kate

Stolen caravan anger

Sunshine Coast Daily: Man's caravan stolen

Now all he has is one old photo, and sweet, sweet memories

Vandalised playground anger

Bolton News: Yobs' rampage leads to small girl's sadface

A true natural in the art of newspaper sadface.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Stolen turf anger

Wyndham Leader: Football pitch stolen on eve of new season

They've obviously mixed with the wrong person.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Celebrity lookalike supermarket anger

Kent Online: Katy Perry lookalike furious at Aldi payment cock-up

"Don't you know who I am?"

"Celine Dion?"

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Bus cuts anger

Fleet News and Mail: Campaign to save bus routes

The end game of bus route privatisation - the commercial monopoly putting profits before people. My name's Ben Elton etc etc

Dog poo anger double bill

Henley Standard: Angry dog poo bloke

Meanwhile...

Western Telegraph: Angry dog poo blokes

Sad that only one of the Chuckle Brothers managed to show up.

Good turn parking ticket anger

Bournemouth Echo: Driver pulls over to help pensioner who had a fall, gets a parking ticket

Well done, kid. Well done, traffic warden, and why isn't there punctuation to imply sarcasm?

Gas meter anger

Brentwood Gazette: Man forced to climb out of window to top up his gas meter

Top quality pointing. We might have missed it otherwise (and we hope the photographer had to climb out of the window to get the picture)

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Childcare centre anger

Sunshine Coast Daily: Residents furious over plans to build 150-place day care centre

...right in the middle of the heritage site that is the 'I'm A Celebrity...' camp, it seems.

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Streetlight replacement anger

Bath Chronicle: Residents not too keen on new LED streetlights

"They are also worried about the increase of light pollution in the city and health problems connected to the LED lights, including lower melatonin levels."

What the what now?

Spotter's Badge: Saki

Cow before people anger

Cambridge News: I don't care what the story's about. JUST LOOK AT THEIR FACES

And also: Excellent jacket

Spotter's Badge: Kate

Noisy library NIMBY anger

Edmonton Journal: Neighbours don't like the idea of a library opposite their homes, and who can blame them?

"But Joanne Groot worries the facility will bring noise, traffic and troublemakers into what she says is a peaceful community."

I believe she's got the word "library" mixed up with "ninja training school for mad criminal genius sidekicks". Easy mistake to make.

Spotter's Badge: Cailynn

Expensive grazing anger

Slough Express: Woman forced to move her horses because her grazing licence is too much

...after the council forgot to charge her for 24 years.

Snappy Tory-hating dog anger

Bromley News Shopper: Dog bites politician

Wait... you called an ambulance for a minor injury? No matter what your party - bad councillor.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Narrow road anger

Eastern Daily Press: Locals upset about the amount of traffic parking outside hospital

Yeah, stupid ill people.

And while we're here, let's see him facing the other direction, because the internet is magic.

There.

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Parking court case anger

Portsmouth News: Man who didn't read the sign properly is shocked - SHOCKED - to be taken to court for refusing to pay parking fine

And let's go the extra mile and take a look at the sign he didn't read. Surely it's tiny.

Ah.

Spotter's Badge: Jonathan

General Election anger

Bromley News Shopper: One-man political party tries to get General Election cancelled because he wasn't allowed on the TV debate

Yeah, good luck with that, mate.

Bike theft anger

Portsmouth News: Spate of bike thefts on the south coast

We don't see nearly enough glum faces on these pages. Fixed.

Spotter's Badge: Jonathan

Brick thrown at car anger

Kent Online: Driver 'lucky to be alive' after brick thrown at car window

From the comments: "Blimey, the years have not been kind to Rick Parfitt have they?" 

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Strange definition of the word 'overlooked' anger

Bucks Free Press: Windowless Tesco store totally overlooks my house

...says woman from window totally overlooking new Tesco

Flag pole anger

Bromley News Shopper: Ex-copper told he can't have two flagpoles in his garden

It's all about planning rules, but this has the Far Right spitting nails. Mainly because they're arseholes. My name's Ben Elton, goodnight.

Fly-tipping anger

Mansfield Chad: Residents may be forced to pay for fly-tipping clean-up and they're not pleased

Wheelbarrow, dump it in the next alley along. Sorted.

Stoned dog anger

Bournemouth Echo: Warning as dog gets off its face on cannabis

Not entirely sure what the random box of fire lighters has to do with this, but everybody's clearly very happy.

Paving stone theft anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Fury over theft of paving slabs

An object lesson in quality angry person posing, from the place with the most northern name, ever.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Toilet demolition anger

York Press: Area man furious that public toilets are to be demolished

Look fella - what do you think empty one-litre milk containers are for?

Roadworks CHAOS anger

Dover Express: Woman predicts CHAOS as roadworks start down her road

It's a rare photographic skill to turn the standard angry person into a ball of anger and rage. This is somebody's granny, but on this evidence you're certain she could kill and not bat an eyelid.

UKIP General Election anger

Oxford Mail: UKIP official claims offensive Facebook posts are fake

And who are we to disbelieve him? (This is my cop-out comment. There's an election on)

While we're here...

Northampton Chronicle: Candidate quits party after colleague turns out to be an enormous racist

He's from the 'lovable eccentric' fringe of the party, no doubt.

Spotter's Badge: Mike

And it goes on...

Southern Daily Echo: Waaaargh! Who broke my lovely, lovely sign?

Yep, it's sign-smashing season.

Spotter's Badge: Chnnyhill

 OTS News: SIIIIIIIIGN!

Still sign-smashing season. Stop smashing signs, people.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Nightclub bouncer anger

NT News: Man denied entry to night club because of his purple shoes

That's his sister, by the way, who DID get in, despite wearing leopard-skin flip-flops.

Narrow road anger

Hull Daily Mail: 'When we all park in the road, the road's not wide enough'

Well... err... Nice tape measure work.

Spotter's Badge: Ian

Non-stick car parking ticket anger

Portsmouth News: First trip out with new baby results in £400 parking fine

They are guilty of the worst crime imaginable, according to one commenter, of being "attention seekers". As a fan of irony, I voted that comment down, as he's clearly an attention seeker.

Spotter's Badge: Jonathan

Lord of the Manor anger

Brighton Argus: Man who bought 'peerage' over the internet for £2,000, is shocked - SHOCKED - to find out it's not the real thing

Well played, commenter: "The Lord Gullible title is still available. I can do you a deal."

Public toilet anger

Border Mail: Pharmacy owner can't wait a minute longer, campaigns for public loos to be re-opened

NONE SHALL PASS (water)

Spotter's Badge: Meredith

Boundary dispute anger

Bournemouth Echo: Long-running dispute over a gate ends up in court

There's nothing like falling out with your neighbours to make people behave like total maniacs, as this case proves.

Didn't get planning permission anger

South Wales Evening Post: Hairdressing salon forced to move after failing to get planning permission

Look at the anger in those eyes. Some pencil-necked desk-jockey is going to get theirs.