Lost luggage cruise to HELL anger

Nottingham Post: Couple go on a cruise and DON'T get the fatal squirts, but still complain about lost luggage

I'm presuming it's one of those "PUNX NOT DEAD" nostalgia cruises they're doing these days.

Spotter: Gareth

Can't fly the flag anger

Nottingham Post: Army veteran threatened with fine for flying flags outside her house

Those pencil-necked bureaucrats, what do they know about foxholes and the white-hot hell of battle? She deserves her smiley flag.

Spotter's Badge: Calvin

Should have used The Force anger

Nottingham Post: Bloke nearly misses his grandson's birth 'because of broken barriers at car park'

FYI, the kid is called Anakin, or Darth for the rest of his natural life.

Spotter's Badge: Chloe, Mike

Come back with my kiddiewinks anger

Nottingham Post: Tram moves off without two children

SHE'S DRESSED HIM UP AS A NEWSPAPER

Spotter's Badge: Milan

Just keep my stupid car anger

Nottingham Post: Why oh why oh why did they tow my car away after parking on double yellow lines in a tow-away zone with a hand-written note in the windscreen saying "disabled badge applied for"?

It's a mystery to me an' all mate.

Spotter's Badge: Calvin

Who set fire to our slide anger

Nottingham Post: Kids furious after scumbags set fire to their park

The Junior SAS ready to sort them out. Culprits WILL be shitted up. Shitted up good.

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Onion rings spider anger

Nottingham Post: Boy left terrified of Asda own-brand onion rings after spider crawled out of his packet

Except it would have been long dead by the time it reached the shop shelf... sooooo, HERE'S YOUR FREE PACKET OF ASDA OWN BRAND ONION RINGS!

Spotter's Badge: Holly, Everybody

Empty paddling pool anger

Nottingham Post: Why is this popular paddling pool closed? What about the poor, tearful kiddiewinks?

It's got a hole in it. Next question.

Spotter's Badge: Hazel

Taxi rank anger

Nottingham Post: Visitor to city not impressed by long walk from railway station to taxi rank

a) HAT, sir

b) How about setting up some sort of shuttle service between the two? People with cars, you give them money and...

Oh.

Spotter's Badge: Jon

This is why people get turned off by religion anger

Nottingham Post: Woman tries to buy Communion Bible from religious bookshop, finds out that their Christian charity doesn't stretch to Catholics

What would Jesus do? I'm pretty sure He and His mates would dump a load of rotten fish heads in their doorway.

Spotter's Badge: Sophie

Virgin Media box nothing to do with Ron anger

Nottingham Post: Locals angry after internet cable box installed outside historic church

Doctor Who on the right can remember when the church was built.

Spotter's Badge: Sarah

Forgot his season ticket anger

Nottingham Post: Forest fan left his season ticket at home, wasn't let into the ground and was "forced" to listen to the Wolves game on the radio

With him on the Wolves part, to be honest

Spotter's Badge: Jon S

Massive farm animal anger

Nottingham Post: Giant chicken factory could be built near village

It all depends how big these chickens are going to be. If they're - say - 50 feet tall, then they've every right to be worried in case one runs amok.

Spotter's Badge: Jon S

Bride-to-be lost passport anger

Nottingham Post: Bride misses her own hen party in Benidorm after losing her passport

And, in a stunning show of loyalty, all her friends went without her.

AAAA+++++++ sadface.

Spotter's Badge: Rich, Andrew

Towed away car anger

Nottingham Post: Council wrongly towed away man's car

Totally worth it for the death stare

Spotter's Badge: Simon

Dog poop anger triple bill

Dundee Courier: Poo on the football pitch

And...

Dundee Telegraph: Still poo on the football pitch

Nottingham Post: Your dog wants a poo? It's got to come through me first

Oh, wait.

Kid doesn't like cheese anger

Nottingham Post: Mum wants school to stop serving her son meals with cheese in them because he doesn't like cheese and he doesn't have it at home, apart from this block, which is just a photographer's prop to show how much he doesn't like cheese in the most literal manner possible

The poor, poor little snowflake.

Spotter's Badge: James

Mouldy McMuffin anger

Nottingham Post: Man says he got food poisoning from McDonald's

A classic in the "First we've heard of this" genre. But look at him holding his poor, messed up guts.

Spotter's Badge: Michael

Fart blaster anger

Nottingham Post: Kid's fart blaster toy confiscated at airport for being security risk

Set one of those off on a plane and the whole jaloppy could burst. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Caught by the fuzz anger

Nottingham Post: Teenager grilled by police while carrying out good deed for his neighbour

The good deed being killing zombies with a shovel. Honestly, the police just don't let people go around their lawful business these days.

Spotter's Badge: Claire