Portsmouth wrecked our holiday anger. Also: Belfast

Portsmouth News: Couple's romantic break in France ruined after they get trapped in Portsmouth

All the sympathy you'd expect from the commenters - after all, who'd ever want to leave such a fine city?

Meanwhile, in Belfast...

Belfast Telegraph: Man misses holiday because of passport problem

To be honest, yours looks like it's seen better days. (Must not mention hair Must not mention hair Must not mention hair Must not mention hair Must not mention hair)

HAIR

Spotter's Badge: Jonathan, iluvni