In which I'm not particularly nice about Stoke anger

Stoke Sentinel: Mum annoyed that park toilets aren't open for her kiddiewinks

Go anywhere, the whole of Stoke's a toilet

Spotter's Badge: Richard

I could probably get the Bad AIDS from this anger

Stoke Sentinel: Somebody keeps leaving make-up in woman's garden

It's the marigolds that make this. She probably wears them 24/7.

Spotter's Badge: Vicky

Kicked out of play centre over a cake anger

Stoke Sentinel: Kiddiewinks' birthday bash RUINED because she took a cake to a play centre without actually booking a party and it's against the rules

It's my birthday today! SEND CAKE

Spotter's Badge: Mario

School clown anger

Stoke Sentinel: Girl excluded after wearing a killer clown mask to school

Her mum thinks they should go lenient because "they know she's the class joker"

Spotter's Badge: Tracey

Sports facilities anger

Stoke Sentinel: Neighbours object to proposed new sports facilities at school

Yeah, why should young people get a better chance in life? THINK OF THE PROPERTY PRICES

Spotter's Badge: Matthew

Stop flytipping in my street anger

Stoke Sentinel: Mo from EastEnders wants people to stop dumping furniture round the Square

That's not flytipping, that's a community resource for people who get tired walking short distances.

Spotter's Badge: Rob, Hazel

Menacing tree anger

Stoke Sentinel: Drivers sick of parking under tree and finding their cars covered in bird crap

With a picture of a poo, in case you didn't know what a poo looks like.

"This tree is a menace to everyone who has a car," they say. 

 

I've just been outside, and there it was, in the car park, sneaking up on my Nissan Micra.

 

Spotter: Mark

Dog-free zone anger

Stoke Sentinel: Despair among 'dog walkers' as dogs barred from popular local pub

Time to think of a new excuse, chap.

Infested house swap anger

Stoke Sentinel: Family's house swap turns to a HOUSE OF HELL after finding their new home is infested with bugs

"We did get to look around the house before we moved in as part of the exchange. But we didn't think to look under the kitchen sink and in the toilet"

Ah.

Loud church anger

Stoke Sentinel: Locals win battle to stop church group from holding all-night services

It seems that our reacto-lite clad lady here has a) previous and b) only one set of clothes

Stoke Sentinel: Locals fight council plan for parking permits over grass verge dispute

Come to think of it, Green-cardy-blue-top man in the background only has one set of clothes too. Times must be hard in Stoke on Trent.

Spotter's Badge: Chris

Cut down our tree anger

Stoke Sentinel: Residents 'stumped' (geddit?!) as tree is chopped down

Come on Stokies, you'll find more leaves to eat somewhere nearby.

Wayward balls anger

Stoke Sentinel: Residents ask cricket club if they'd mind not hitting balls into their gardens

And no, you're not getting them back.

Double yellow line inevitable outcome anger

Stoke Sentinel: Driver parks on yellow lines to take 100-year-old mum to the loo, is upset that he's received a parking fine

As a master of Holmsian Deduction, I can tell you that he is a private detective and plays clarinet in a trad jazz band.

Disappearing trees anger

Stoke Sentinel: Upset as Network Rail chops down trees next to railway line

File under: People who live in houses near railways upset when people who run the railways do work on the railways to make the railways more reliable.

Spotter's Badge: Ian

Nursery robbery anger

Stoke Sentinel: Evil scrotes ransack nursery

This picture suggests an awful, awful end for the culprits

Portaloo anger

Stoke Sentinel: Residents upset at portable toilet in their street

It's almost as if people WANT the daleks to invade

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Swimming 'Poo' Anger

Stoke Sentinel: Man falls ill after swimming in pool full of turds

Excellent use of props. If it was any warmer, I dare say they might have got him to pose in budgie smugglers

Spotter's Badge: Chris

Oatcake scam anger

Stoke Sentinel: People of Stoke rise in fury over doorstep oatcake-selling scam

In summary: The most Stoke headline you will ever see. STOKE.

Spotter's Badge: Ellie

Late night police visit anger

Stoke Sentinel: Police bang on man's door at 1.30am in bid to find PC's lost mobile phone

With a picture of what a mobile phone might look like

Self-appointed poop scooping anger

Stoke Sentinel: Bloke who clears away other people's dog poo gets fined for littering

It's not until you get to four paragraphs from the end for the real story to emerge: "What was unacceptable was the verbal abuse which Mr Taylor unleashed on our enforcement officer, who was only trying do her job keeping the streets clean and safe for the community."

Apart from the swearing at uniformed officials, keep up the good work.