Stop scratching my car you bellends anger

Jersey Evening Post: Vandals keep scratching woman's car, and she's getting quite upset about it

Very artistic.

Spotter's Badge: Marc

My bin's gone melted anger

Swindon Advertiser: Yobs set fire to man's bin, and he's not pleased

There's this year's Turner Prize winner right there

Spotter's Badge: Matt

Someone stole my hat anger

The NT News: Woman steals man's prized hat

Drink, lad. Drink to forget.

Spotter's Badge: Cameron

I want my bin back anger

Hull Daily Mail: Woman calls police on the council for taking her extra wheelie bin

Because the one she's got that's the size of a dustcart isn't quite big enough

Spotter's Badge: Hayleigh

Stole our front garden anger

Wolverhampton Express and Star: Crims make off with couple's front garden, bill them for £2,500

*sigh*

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Stolen lions anger

Belfast Telegraph: Stone lions stolen from entrance to National Trust HQ

Those are the tightest jeans I have ever seen on any man.

Spotter's Badge: Tom

Stealing from the very mouths of kiddiewinks at Christmas anger

Maidenhead Advertiser: Thieves make off with Round Table's sweets meant for the kiddiewinks

And who hasn't dreamed of a festive season locked in a cargo container?

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Stolen Christmas lights anger

Bristol Post: Family upset as thieves steal their Christmas lights

As this story was reported on 30 November, I'd go as far as suggesting it was the Taste Police.

Spotter's Badge: Paul

Stop stealing from my lady garden anger

Stuff.nz: Garden thief is caught red-handed

So much sexy slang I could put here. But I won't

Wrecked football pitch anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Thieves set fire to car after performing doughnuts on football pitch

It'll buff out.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Fakey Mrs Brown's Boys anger

Wolverhampton Express and Star: Conman makes thousands selling tickets for non-existent Mrs Brown's Boys stage show

a) Ripping off people by pretending to be a charity is A Very Bad Thing

but

b) Mrs Brown's Boys fans.

Spotter's Badge: Adam

The Case of the Missing Hedgerow Anger

Chippenham Gazette and Herald: Okay, which of you cock-munchers stole our hedge?

Still, nice bit of fence work.

Spotter's Badge: Keith, Louise

Tricked out of our life savings by scammers saying I had porn on my computer anger

Yorkshire Evening Post: Man on the phone said there was porn on my computer, so instead of talking to an expert or spending a couple of hundred on a new machine, I gave him £14,000

I get the feeling somebody knows all about porn and modern technology.

Spotter's Badge: Susie

Got a new bike but still sadface anger

Portsmouth News: Kid's expensive bike stolen from outside Tesco, who admit their CCTV system is a bit rubbish

New bike! Smile, you nerks!

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Charity shop theft anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Charity shop forced to stay closed after being robbed twice in a week

Also, the manager was stabbed in the shoulder with a pair of scissors, but she's running it off.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Fly-tipping on our cider orchard (not sexy slang) anger

Shropshire Star: No, really, who's going to pay for this to be taken away?

If you stare at her outfit for long enough, you'll see it's one of those 3D Magic Eye images of an angry woman.

Spotter's Badge: Tim

Stolen puppies anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Six puppies stolen from pen in man's back yard

He has my every sympathy, except for the fact the the one remaining dog is a child in a zip-up dog suit.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Stolen model goat anger

Sheffield Star: Artist upset after thieves steal her life-sized model goat that was given as a wedding present by somebody who said "We thought you liked goats"

Photograph comes with a space showing where a model goat might have been

Spotter's Badge: Yorkrose

Sticky mess all over my house anger

Stuff.nz: Egg and flour attacks cause sticky mess for residents

At least I assume they're eggs.

Stealing from Sweet Baby Jesus anger

South Wales Evening Post: Thieves steal from church in broad daylight

And next times, their testicles will be going in that strimmer.