Fart blaster anger

Nottingham Post: Kid's fart blaster toy confiscated at airport for being security risk

Set one of those off on a plane and the whole jaloppy could burst. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Spotter's Badge: Jon

No landline anger

Huddersfield Daily Examiner: Couple have no landline, refuse to use mobile phone

Every Marvel film has a Stan Lee cameo. Here's yours.

Spotter's Badge: Chloe

Escaped cat anger

Southern Daily Echo: Timothy Spall to play man whose cat escaped from the vets

A superb study in no cats.

War memorial garden anger

Burton Mail: Wild war memorial garden is a little too wild for our liking and is an insult to our war dead, can we have it a little less wild please?

Council: *sigh* It's supposed to look like that, you're the ones who asked for a wild flower garden.

Cemetery dog poo anger

The Cornishman: Please stop your dogs from crapping on our dead people

Because come the zombie uprising, they're going to be so, so angry.

No bus shelter anger

Blackpool Gazette: Give us a bus shelter, say local people

But as other local people point out, this is Blackpool, tat capital of the world, where a man called Ron by Central Pier can sell you a golf umbrella for just £2.99

Thin excuse for speeding anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Driver claims he didn't know about new speed limit because he couldn't read the sign

Nice try, chap. And no sympathy at all in the comments, except from somebody who claims to be a lawyer. Who is probably not a lawyer.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Donkey parking ticket anger

Blackpool Gazette: Something about donkeys and parking and I realised I got the link wrong and I'm in a cafe and I'll fix it properly when I get home, Ok?

http://m.blackpoolgazette.co.uk/news/i-ll-not-pay-up-donkey-drama-as-owner-vows-to-fight-parking-fine-1-7418816

In other news, beach donkey rides are still a thing in the 1950s.

Spotter's Badge: Wayne

Fakey speed camera anger

Shropshire Star: Family erects cardboard speed camera to fool drivers

As you'd expect, the local pen-pushers are steaming about it.

House covered in turds anger

Coventry Telegraph: Woman's house spattered with turds due to blocked drain

People who do science: How did those turds manage to get so high up the house?

Spotter's Badge: Rob R, Hazel

Sticky door anger

Portsmouth News: Couple's £2,500 new front door starts sticking after only a few weeks

I can see your problem: You've spent £2,500 on a new front door.

Holiday scam anger

Burton Mail: Woman buys holiday from online hive of scum and villainy Facebook and is shocked - SHOCKED - to discover it's a scam

Yeah, don't buy your holidays on online hive of scum and villainy Facebook. It's going to be a scam.

Spotter's Badge: Simon

Dog poo enforcement anger

About My Area: Council officials about to hit the streets and crack down on dog mess

That ridiculously good looking chap on the right is in charge of dog clamping. If he catches your dog crapping in the street, the clamp goes on, no questions asked.

Designated busking anger

Surrey Comet: Musicians say designated performing spots are too close together

And the last person you want to wind up is a mad monk with a skeleton violin.

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Music venue anger

Metro Winnipeg: Fears for local music venue as it falls under new owners

You are Michael Stipe out of REM and I claim my five pounds.

Spotter's Badge: Grant

Dirty Lane anger

East Grinstead Courier: Dirty Lane is still dirty, say residents

Is she licking the sign? DON'T LICK THE SIGN.

Falsly accused donkey anger

Hull Daily Mail: 'I didn't wash my donkey in kiddiewinks' paddling pool' (not sexy slang)

Washing your donkey in the kiddiewinks paddling pool is A Bad Thing, m'kay?

Spotter's Badge: Ian

Neighbourly dispute anger

Gloucester Echo: Armed police with tasers called to row over wheelie bins

I've thought hard about the nature of neighbourly disputes, and feels that the only way forward is to taze all parties in the gonads.

Spotter's Badge: The Quirker, Marjorie

Cracked bridge anger

Oxford Mail: Councillor poses in his karate outfit despite being told cracked concrete on bridge is nothing to be worried about

This chap has form for newspaper publicity stunts. Keep it up, sir.

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Homeless because O2 are idiots anger

Liverpool Echo: Woman left homeless and standing in the middle of the road in the pouring rain after phone company error leaves her homeless

A reminder: We are not at home to sexist comments on this blog.

Spotter's Badge: Mal

Thomas Cook sex line anger

Wolverhampton Express and Star: Woman shocked - SHOCKED - after she rings up holiday firm and gets sex line instead

"Luckily, the couple saw the funny side" - What is this? Viz Comic?

Spotter's Badge: Gordy

No landline anger

Shropshire Star: Family still waiting for landline connection after six months

One day - just one day - they'll get hassled by phone scammers like the rest of us.

Spotter's Badge: Gordy

All the rubbish in Essex anger

Essex Echo: Plans in place to send all of Essex's rubbish to Basildon

Well, it can only improve the place.

Spotter's Badge: Cora

Falling pears think of the kiddiewinks anger

Birmingham Mail: Woman furious that pear tree in communal garden in bearing fruit which could fall on somebody's head or something

"It’s only a matter of time before someone is injured by falling fruit"

If only there was some way of - say - eating said fruit before it kills somebody's poor kiddiewink completely to death. 

If. Only.

Spotter's Badge: Paul, Tom

Stolen train anger

Darlington and Stockton Times: Ornamental wooden train is stolen. Again.

SADFACE KIDDIEWINK KLAXON

Grotty war memorial anger

Bolton News: Councillor wants council to clean memorial

And it's over in one in the comments: "The only insult to heroes is an attention seeking fool parading up and down in front of the memorial in mock outrage"

Harsh.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Problem drinking anger

Hartlepool Mail: Locals don't want hostel for problem drinkers anywhere near them

Yeah, it'll be there to stop them drinking. You know that, right?

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Falling cupboard anger

Greenwich News Shopper: We were nearly KILLED TO DEATH when a cupboard fell off the wall and it COULD HAPPEN AGAIN

[photographer]: Just sit the lad on the work surface under the cupboard with the pans precariously balanced on top

[mum]: Up you go

[kid]: But I'll DIE!

[mum]: Shut up and sit there

[girl]: What do I do?

[photographer]: Stand at the front and pout

[girl]: *pouts*

[photographer]: Perfect **Click**

Spotter's Badge: Neil, Rob

Rubbish broadband anger

Eastern Daily Press: School has dreadful broadband despite being next to a broadband cabinet

Teacher is now regretting having a laptop grafted onto the end of her arm

Spotter's Badge: Dave, Steven

Traffic calming anger

Nuneaton News: Residents want 'dangerous' traffic safety scheme removed

...leaving literally dozens of innocent 'Keep Right' signs without a job. You monsters.

Spotter's Badge: David

Bowling discrimination anger

Melbourne Herald Sun: Bowler claims pro-female bias in local leagues

Your privelege, sir. Check it.

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Comes with added knife anger

York Press: Family horrified as four-inch blade found in Argos magic fairy castle

It's what they in the trade call "added play value"

Spotter's Badge: Jonathan, George

Caught by the fuzz anger

Nottingham Post: Teenager grilled by police while carrying out good deed for his neighbour

The good deed being killing zombies with a shovel. Honestly, the police just don't let people go around their lawful business these days.

Spotter's Badge: Claire

Holiday in term-time anger

Portsmouth News: Mum shocked - SHOCKED - over £60 fine for taking the kiddiewinks out of school for three weeks

"Holiday of a lifetime" or not, them's the rules.

Spotter's Badge: Jonathan

Trying to escape from the press anger

Northern Echo: Woman stole £26,000 in lottery tickets

Not our usual posed anger, but this one shot at the court building is just glorious.

Spotter's Badge: Andy

Ant invasion anger

Hull Daily Mail: Family's misery as house invaded by thousands of ants

"Kimberley Fleetham and the ants" says the picture caption. To be honest, I prefered it when Adam was the lead singer.

Spotter's Badge: Ian

Trying to get my deposit back anger

Bristol Post: Letting agent taking the mick with £22 charge to fit a lightbulb

We ask: Are letting agents the worst people in the world?

Yes. Yes they are.

Spotter's Badge: Martin

Rich resident bus stop anger

Ham and High: Fury as resident pays £11,000 to have bus stop moved from outside their house

Move along, poor people.

Dangerous drop anger

Dumbarton Reporter: Man calls for fence in front of dangerous drop because kiddiewinks could fall to their death

A fence has now been built, and the kiddiewinks are safe (unless it's a wooden one, and somebody might get a nasty splinter. In their eye. All the way to their brain)

Spotter's Badge: Kenn

Holiday money anger

Manchester Evening News: Woman claims local bureau de change gave her fake 50 euro notes

Holiday inconvenienced, because nobody ever takes their bank cards abroad

And a traveller's tip: Never accept 50 euro notes for foreign travel. Would you walk about your home town paying for everything with a £50 note?

Spotter's Badge: Iain

Leaky block of flats anger

Portsmouth News: Leaky roof forces families to move out of block of flats

Plan: Go and live at the landlord's offices. That usually makes them budge.

Dodgy old shoes anger

Portsmouth News: Man keeps pair of shoes in his cupboard for ten years, is shocked - SHOCKED - that they fall apart as soon as he wears them

...still gets a refund.

Spotter's Badge: Christina

Charity jar theft anger

Hull Daily Mail: Some terrible scrote steals cafe's charity jar

Arya Stark on the left is going to go absolutely apocalyptic on the culprit.

Spotter's Badge: Kenn

Vomit and faeces anger

Sunshine Coast Daily: "Please stop using my hotel's garden as a toilet, you dags"

"There's a better one just down the road"

Missing cheques anger

Newbury Today: Cheques worth over £2,000 go missing in the mail

The book, The Railways of Great Britain. A Historical Atlas, sells for a whopping £307.95. On the other hand, you may download my latest for a mere £2.40, and you don't even have to write a cheque.

Stolen Guinea Pigs anger

Sunshine Coast Daily: Thieves steal guinea pigs from nursery

LOOK AT HIS FACE, YOU THIEVING BASTARDS.

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Car theft anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Raiders take cars and equipment worth £60,000

Rarely does a news photograph capture the actual look of "What the F...", but look on this image and marvel.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Level crossing anger

Moonee Valley Leader: Something about a railway crossing

If you ever wondered what a man who looks a bit like Adrian Chiles standing in the middle of the road would be like, then today's your lucky day

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Leaky roof anger

Kent Online: Kids upset as classrooms flooded

In the words of Canadian industrial rock combo Front Line Assembly: "Shattered hopes, shattered dreams, there's bodies everywhere"

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Slightly racist school admission anger

Nottingham Post: "I'm not racist but... we need to find out how many non-English kids got into our local school"

And some religious guff as well. Go on, knock yourselves out reading the comments.

Spotter's Badge: Jon