Laying a cable in my front garden anger

Greenwich News Shopper: Local 'character' catches a man having a poo in his front garden

"Poor Coral, I had to give her a valium and a scotch - it is not a very nice thing to happen to anyone."

Quality nose holding from our man:

And a superb bit of fist-shaking, to boot...

I urge you to click through to the story, because it's just as entertaining as the photographs, and proof positive that local journalism is far from dead. All you need is a talented writer, the local eccentric and a man in a hi-vis tabard with his trousers round his ankles..

Spotter's Badge: Neil, Christina