Stolen penguins anger

Hull Daily Mail: Decorative penguins stolen from nursery

LOOK AT HIS FACE YOU THIEVING SCUM

Spotter's badge: Simon

Christmas jumper think of the kiddiewinks anger

Coventry Telegraph: Small boy's birthday UTTERLY RUINED because click-and-collect order wasn't ready when they turned up at the store

We urge you to click through for a veritable gallery of woe. It's hard to imagine how this family will manage to carry on following this disappointment.

Spotter's Badge: Everybody

Smashed my gourd anger

Dundee Telegraph: Kiddiewinks in tears after yobs smash the Halloween pumpkins

Yeah, we're a bit late on this one.

Spotter's Badge: Michael

No football in the street anger

Manchester Evening News: Kiddiewinks not allowed to have a kickabout outside their own front door

Young Slade (left), named after the prison in the TV series "Porridge"

Spotter's Badge: Annie, Georgia

You murdered our tree anger

Yorkshire Evening Post: Kiddiewinks left heartbroken after chainsaw-wielding fool cuts down their conker tree

Have you ever seen such devastation? Oh, my stars

Spotter's Badge: David

Scumbags stole and set fire to our minibus anger

Kent Live: Kiddiewinks find sitting in a row of chairs and saying 'Brrrrm brrrrm' is a poor substitute for actual school outings

But then the news item shows the school's sign is written in Comic Sans MS (The Font Of Champions), and suddenly everything's different.

Spotter's Badge: Ed

Little Alfie and his exploding tablet anger

Lancashire Evening Post: Parents urged to think of the kiddiewinks as battery explodes on kid's off-brand tablet

Superb sad-face. You have a career as a sad-face model ahead of you, young Alfie.

Spotter's Badge: Joanna

Nursery closure anger

Plymouth Herald: Kiddiewinks upset as nursery suddenly closes

At least three of those kiddiewinks doing the state-approved really, really, really angry pose.

Spotter's Badge: Hazel, Everybody

School poo anger

North Devon Gazette: Please stop throwing poo at our school, plead the kiddiewinks

Please, think of the kiddiewinks.

Nursery vandalism anger

Manchester Evening News: Kiddiewinks upset after yobs wreck their nursery garden

Teach smiling a bit too much, here.

Spotter's Badge: Roland

Danger park think of the kiddiewinks anger

Plymouth Herald: Won't somebody think of the kiddiewinks and fix this run-down park?

Look. Here is a kiddiewink. See how sad she is.

Spotter's Badge: Jim

Nursery school break-in anger

Kent Online: Kiddiewinks left unimpressed by break-in at their nursery school

Won't anyone think of the kiddiewinks?

Spotter's Badge: Rob C

Playground theft anger

Timaru Herald: Expensive play equipment stolen from kindergarten

Textbook sadfacing from the kiddiewinks

Spotter's Badge: Joseph

In other news, it is my 50th birthday today. Send cake.

More thieving from kiddiewinks anger

Eastern Daily Press: Thieves make off with school's chicken coop

Or as the local estate agent calls it, "starter home"

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Thieves didn't think of the kiddiewinks anger

Kent Online: Criminals make off with precious pictures of kiddiewinks in nursery robbery

Look at those faces, you thieving curs. LOOK AT THEM

Have you ever seen a face so sad?

 Have you ever seen a face so angry?

Spotter's Badge: Anthony, Neil

Christmas totally ruined anger

Leicester Mercury: Parents don't check new laptop before Christmas Day, resulting in floods of tears

From the comments:

"I really think David Cameron needs to chair the Cobra emergency committee right away"

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Poppy Appeal theft anger

Bolton News: Scumbag steals school's Poppy Appeal money

Crucifying the crims is the only way to bring the smile back to these kids' faces. Nail 'em up.

Spotter's Badge: Karen