New supermarket death stare anger

Essex Echo: Shopkeep fears for the future as supermarket opens over the road

Road atlases on the top shelf. Very disappointing.

Spotter's Badge: Cora

Painted over potholes anger

Essex Echo: Council paints mini roundabout over pothole instead of fixing it

Crouching in the middle of the road, dark glasses, lanyard and quality pointing. This man has everything.

Spotter's Badge: Barry

No laughing matter anger

Essex Echo: Councillors angry as laughing gas canisters found at local park

Plenty for the kiddiewinks to do there, I see.

Clown robbery anger

Essex Echo: Sad clown considering his future in the kiddiewink entertainment business after being robbed of his takings by local derelicts

"Sometimes he makes as little as £5 per day"

Yeah, time to hang up the big shoes, mate. The big inflatable arse has fallen out of the market.

Spotter's Badge: Lisa

Dangerous railings anger

Essex Echo: Railings not fixed weeks after they were crushed in police chase

1. Strong Think of the Kiddiewinkism from the councillor. Who knows what could happen to a kiddiewink playing in the middle of the road?

 

2. SORT OUT YOUR SHIT HI VIZ

Playground vandalism anger

Essex Echo: Local ingrates vandalise playground just two weeks after it was unveiled

Kids grow up quickly in Essex, don't they?

Spotter's Badge: Justin

Bike lane anger

Essex Echo: 'Frustrated' councillors question new bike lane

Too right he's frustrated. Look at that pocket billiards.

Spotter's Badge: Cora

Missing cemetery flowers anger

Essex Echo: Volunteers dismayed as contractor digs up the flowers they planted at cemetery

These plants are important. The roots are the only thing that prevents the undead rising from their graves.

Is a zombie apocalypse what these jokers want? Because that's what's going to happen.

Spotter's Badge: Justin

Wasted money anger

Essex Echo: Councillor uses series of props to illustrate how locals are throwing money away by not recycling properly

Includes a picture of £30 to show what money may look like.

Spotter's Badge: Cora

Business park anger

Essex Echo: Pollution fears put business park plans at risk

More Canvey council officials, more shit hi-viz tabards. Get a grip, you JOKE.

Broken steps/rubbish hi-viz tabard anger

Essex Echo: Councillors wonder why oh why oh why nobody's maintained this pathway

Those are clearly the worst hi-viz tabards in the whole history of people wearing hi-viz tabards

Five-legged dog funeral anger

Essex Echo: Family not happy with five-legged elephant-faced dog on funeral wreath

Let's zoom in on this masterpiece of the floral arts...

Actually dying with laughter.

(But do click through for the photo of the wreath before it left the shop and possible proof that leg-adding shenanigans took place somewhere between florist and church)

Spotter's Badge: Cora

Rusty old swings anger

Essex Echo: Residents want "tired and forgotten" playground spruced up

A bit old for the swings, aren't you?

Stolen pineapple anger

Essex Echo: Pineapple fountain 'probably melted down for scrap'

Let's see it in all its majesty.

 I see what happened - he nipped home to change his jumper and the thieves pounced. Rubbish guarding job, mate. Rubbish.

Christmas lights anger

Essex Echo: Christmas lights switch-on ruined our trade, say Billericay shopkeeps

The High Street in Billericay there, absolutely bustling with shoppers.

Road re-naming anger

Essex Echo: Campaigners faced with £40,000 costs after bid to stop roads being re-named fails

The best outcome would be to nuke the entire estate from orbit. It would be cheaper, too.

Dangerous lamp posts anger

Essex Echo: Canvey councillors want 'dangerous' disused lamp posts removed

I've been to Canvey, and those posts covered in yellow tape are what passes for a tourist attraction there.

Spotter's Badge: Cora

Wildlife reserve fly-tipping anger

Essex Echo: Residents upset at constant vandalism and fly-tipping at nature reserve

Judging by the photo, this man is at least eight feet tall.

Rubbish robbers anger

Essex Echo: Robbers rip through roof of carpet warehouse and steal £10, because *everybody* pays for their carpets with cash

More proof, if it were ever needed, that crime is pretty much a low-return career choice and a complete waste of time and effort.

Dangerous paving anger

Essex Echo: Basildon still falling apart at the seams

...and has been since the early 1970s when they built it out of cardboard and toothpaste.

Spotter's Badge: Barry