Friday, August 31, 2012

Town centre lights anger


Essex Echo: Man's anger as town centre lights left on 24 hours a day

Can you imagine it - having to see Basildon all day AND all night? The HORROR.

Spotter's Badge: Barry, Rob

Sewage car anger


Watford Observer: Heavy rain leaves man's car covered in turds

Extra credit for the detailed medical history

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Bad E-fit


Harrogate News: Police in search for mystery bum groper

I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THIRSK

Don't have nightmares

Shopping centre anger


Essex Echo: Council may step in to buy run-down shopping centre

I have memories of that concrete craphole from when I was a kid. My first reaction to this story was: Bloody hell, is it still standing?

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Dull News in Local Newspapers


Brighton Argus: Girl stuck in bush

Oxford Mail: Man mows lawn

Portsmouth News: Second-hand book sale

Eastbourne Herald: All news cancelled in Seaford

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Council tax 'rip-off' anger


Coventry Telegraph: Man shocked - SHOCKED - to discover that company who helped him claim overpaid council tax takes huge fee

Who'd have thunk it, eh?

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Vandalised boats anger


Blackpool Gazette: Fury as vandals target boats in park

"I'd shake her tail-feathers" (To make sure they were properly secured)

EU ruling anger


Halifax Courier: New EU rules mean centuries old tradition of killing things put at risk

I *think* that's the gist.

Spotter's Badge: Ross

Footpath widening anger


Reading Evening Post: Neighbours slam plans to fell oak trees to widen footpaths

The bloke at the end may actually explode with fury

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Dull News in Local Newspapers - Celebrity Edition


St Albans Review: Tom Cruise eats food

Barnet and Potter's Bar Times: Footballer gets haircut

Blackpool Gazette: Celebrity signs books

Blackpool Gazette: Not dull, but RICK ASTLEY ALERT

Spotter's Badge: David

Empty market anger


Lancashire Telegraph: Review as quarter of stalls in local market lie empty

That'll be the deadly man-eating triffids you've let in

Spotter's Badge: Karen (who thought this one was going to be the usual tirade of sexist filth)

Run-down area anger


Blackpool Gazette: Trader asks council to stump up cash to revamp his road

The consensus in the comments appears to be "Nuke the site from orbit"

Car damage anger


Portsmouth News: Couple from Gosport ask local knuckle-draggers to stop vandalising their cars

"Double done a poo"

Double yellow line anger


Sidmouth Herald: Driver shocked - SHOCKED - to receive a parking ticket for leaving car on double yellow lines

"I’m unlikely to be coming back to Sidmouth"

You and me both, dear

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Dull News in Local Newspapers


Norwich Evening News: New bin days

Yeovil Express: Journalist gives up smoking

Your Local Gazette: Cat seen at railway station

Grimsby Telegraph: Olly Murs tribute act visits Grimbsy

Falmouth Packet: Shop opens

Spotter's Badge: Sarah



Bad E-fit


Lynn News: Man wanted over betting shop raid

THIS MAN HAS NO EARS

"Pardon?"

Don't have nightmares.

I bet you don't follow through with that threat anger


Deal Express: Dad 'will rather go to jail' than pay fine for taking kids out of school for holiday

I bet you don't follow through with that threat

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Eco-home anger


Derby Telegraph: Dismay at high energy bills in eco-homes


Derby Telegraph: Family's eco-home dream turns into a nightmare

I am told that both images are by the same photographer. Well played Victoria Wilcox!

Spotter's Badge: Peter

Monday, August 27, 2012

Dull News in Local Newspapers


Watford Observer: Bin collections cancelled

Epping Forest Guardian: Man gets MoT

Beds on Sunday: Man doesn't win lottery

Portsmouth News: National organisation makes crucial - CRUCIAL - business decision

Spotter's Badge: Beth, TRT, Jon

Mindless yob anger


Northants Telegraph: Anger as 'lack of respect' shown to new flower bed

RESPECT THE FLOWER BED

Spotter's Badge: Victor

Fly-tipping anger


Cambridge News: Couple complain that rats and mice are the result of local fly-tipping

"We've caught four mice in two days and our neighbour's cat caught three in just one day."

So nobody's going hungry, then.

No war anger


Hull Daily Mail: Anger as the word 'war' is droppped from memorial hall's name

War, huh? What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

Spotter's Badge: Peter

Pervy theft anger


Sussex Courier: Warning as local weirdo steals kids' underwear from washing line

I'm a merciful sort of person. Catch him, put him on trial, and break out the cheese grater.

Spotter's Badge: Skuds

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Stolen fishing gear anger


Essex Echo: Fury as thieves target fishing tackle

"I'd let her use my tackle" (So she can go fishing)

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Needle Exchange anger


Swindon Advertiser: Locals claim victory as application for needle exchange turned down

Translation: JUNKIES STAY AWAY

Spotter's Badge: George

Karaoke anger


Eastern Daily Press: Pub stops karaoke nights after they have the wrong licence

For eg: Not one for strangling kittens and playing the sound out of loudspeakers

Spotter's Badge: Stephen

Potholed road lack of perspective anger


Epping Forest Guardian: Potholed road 'is like a Ugandan minefield'

Except people are actually killed in minefields

Spotter's Badge: Beth

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Fifty Shades of Anger


Sunderland Echo: Campaigners call for badly-written novel to be burned

Because burning books solves EVERYTHING

Spotter's Badge: Gary

Counterfeit drink mats anger


Derby Telegraph: Trader fined for selling hooky cheap tat

"If he had sold his complete stock he stood to make at least £1,500"

WOW. I'm in the wrong trade.

Spotter's Badge: Peter.

Smear campaign anger


Billericay Gazette: Charity shop owner hits out at knockers

I wouldn't get involved with any smearing (Neither would I spread malicious rumours)

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Sewage smell anger again


Colchester Daily Gazette: Residents furious at smell coming out of Essex

Brilliant work by the photographer. Take the rest of the day off, sir

Spotter's Badge: Alice

Friday, August 24, 2012

Dull News in Local Newspapers

Wokingham Times: Holy crap! It's all kicking off in Woodley

Portsmouth News: Holy crap! It's all kicking off in Portsmouth

Portsmouth News: Holy crap! It's all kicking off in Chichester

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Unsafe carpet anger


Bexley News Shopper: Woman, 71, told new carpet is a fire hazard

"I'd inspect her carpet" (To ensure that it was correctly laid)

Spotter's Badge: Simon

Health Centre closure anger


Haverhill Weekly News: Protest as walk-in clinic is closed

"I'd raise her blood pressure" (To ensure that she was living a healthy lifestyle and getting her five a day, oh no, that's worse, isn't it?)

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Recursive anger anger


East Grinstead Courier and Observer: Anger as bike thief leaves his old bike behind

If somebody stels THAT bike, will she be holding up a photo of her holding up this photo? Brain hurts

Spotter's Badge: Skuds

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Massive tree anger


Coventry Telegraph: Tree at the end of my garden 'making my life HELL'

The money shot: "Nine years ago wasn’t anywhere near as big."

Tempted to give her a spotter's badge for noticing that trees grow over time.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Olympic trade anger


Waltham Forest Guardian: Traders dismayed as Olympics turn area into a ghost town

Yep, yet another LOCOG nause-up

Spotter's Badge: Beth

School places anger again again


Essex Chronicle: Family may have to move as daughter denied place at local school

"I'll hold my breath unless you do as I say. Then you'll be sorry"

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Dull News in Local Newspapers


North Wales Daily Post: Sheep gets stuck

Cambrian Times: Road allegedly haunted

Portsmouth News: New streetlights

Brighton Argus: Cat stuck up tree

Spotter's Badge: John, John, Jon, Me

Angry Cats in Local Newspapers


Reading Evening Post: University wants to study killer cats for ...err... harmless research

Don't look it in the eyes. It can see your soul

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Sponsored roundabout anger


Dorset Echo: With all the world's problems sorted, attention turns to the menace of roundabout sponsorship

I once sponsored a roundabout. It did the London Marathon

Soft punishment anger


Lancashire Evening Post: Victims angry at 'let-off' for teenage vandal

Man, did I ever read that photo caption wrong. No woman should be called Jean Bondage

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Solar farm anger


Cornish Guardian: Locals in fight to stop solar farm expansion

You will note they've driven to a country road to protest against renewable energy. Take that, you hippies!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Dull News in Local Newspapers: CELEBRITY EDITION

This is North Devon: Micro-celebrity spotted

Hemel Today: Celeb spotted near Hemel

Falmouth Packet: Celebrity spotted in Cornwall

Stolen bags anger


Midland Reporter: Pensioner puzzled as thieves steal empty shopping bags from car

"I'd like to fill her bags" (With shopping)

Spotter's Badge: David

Fined teacher anger


Manchester Evening News: Teacher fined for taking daughter out of school to go on holiday

"I'd take her out of class" (To discuss my child's recent poor grades)

Spotter's Badge: @Jabblue

Olympic fishing anger


Dorset Echo: Fishermen angry at high security during Olympic events

Fishing is not and never will be an Olympic event. DREAM ON

Spotter's Badge: Stephen

Monday, August 20, 2012

Free banking anger


Huddersfield Daily Examiner: Shopkeep's anger as bank refuses to honour 'free banking forever' account

FACT: Santander is Spanish for "Greedy grabbing bastards"*

*Lie

Spotter's Badge: Ross

Bingo ban anger


Estern Reporter: Sporting clubs' anger after being denied permission to run bingo nights

Lucky escape, to be honest

Spotter's Badge: David