Florist anger

Royston Crow: Shopekeeper ropes in poor, solitary volunteer over parking ticket row

Here's what you do:

Agree to pay the fine, but tell the council they have to collect it.

When they arrive, have £275 ready for them, in mixed copper coinage, unsorted.

Insist that it is checked and double-checked on the premises.

While they are checking the money, point out that they have now parked - quite illegally - for more than 30 minutes outside your shop.

The coins will weigh 103kg. Offer them the use of a bin to take the money away.

Two weeks after they have taken your money away in the bin, demand your bin back, with an invoice for £275.01 for its storage.

WIN!

Spotter's Badge: Mohammed