Biblical plague of mice anger

Chichester Observer: Block of flats hit by 'biblical plague of mice'

Just wait until the plague of clowns, mate. You'll need a bigger trap.

And just to maintain balance...

Plymouth Herald: Mouse complains of 'biblical plague of humans'

Spotter's Badge: Ben, Adam

Biblical plague of flies, no seriously, these are the End Times anger

Daily Record: "I've been forced to lure them in with my hideous Chelsea shirt and beat them to death with this tin I found"

ACTUAL QUOTE FROM THE STORY*

*Not an actual quote from the story

Spotter's Badge: Alan

A plague upon Suffolk anger

East Anglia Daily Times: Village becomes home to massive swarm of flies

Would they rather be attacked by one million fly-sized flies, or one fly the size of a million flies? Let's find out!

Spotter's Badge: Daniel, Ange

Toilet seat stuck on my head anger

Bay Chronicle: Something about increased charges for sewage services

Who cares? She's wearing a toilet seat.

Spotter's Badge: Gavin

Far too many geese anger

Intelligencer (Canada): This woman has had enough of these melon-farming geese on her melon-farming lawn

And so has Steve, her pet broom.

Spotter's Badge: Genna

Someone stop seagulls pooing anger

MK Citizen: Man clutching a resin model owl can't stop seagulls going to the toilet, mostly on him

No idea about the owl. Maybe he just likes owls.

Spotter's Badge: Mike

"I'm not racist but..." anger

Gloucestershire Live: Man with Nazi flag on display at his house denies he's racist

Apology accepted, just as long as you don't have anything else that can be misconstrued as a little bit, you know... completely fucking insanely racist.

Oh.

Spotter's Badge: Loaftoaster, Mal

Long grass think of the kiddiewinks anger

Basildon Recorder: The kiddiewinks won't be able to play outside because the council hasn't cut the grass

I should expect the kiddiewinks have bigger things on their mind

Spotter's Badge: Justin

Sawn up bench anger

Largs and Millport News: WHY?

Because somebody needed slats for a very thin bed.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Road chicane anger

Somerset Guardian: Residents slightly inconvenienced with traffic calming measures near hospital

"The Book of Common Sense". That's not actually a real book, is it?

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Bristol bus anger

Bristol Post: Campaigners resort to fiery destruction in protest against new bus service

That's five of them, one black armband, and a bemused passer-by.

Spotter's Badge: Andrew, Rob A

Knitted ape passive-aggressive note anger

Ely News: Woman writes passive-aggressive note to person who complained about her ape after getting a visit from the police

a) POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD KLAXON

b) If you look closely, she's thinking of the kiddiewinks.

c) u ok hun? xxx

No water dullness

Dorset Echo: Pensioner left with no hot water

Happy ending: The comments - once we've got through the usual arseholes and know-it-alls - end with a genuine offer to help. Yay!

Lunch club anger

Dorset Echo: Saturday club faces closure without fresh meat members

Send us meat. Tasty tasty MEAT.

Missing bench anger

Torquay Herald Express: Trust denies that memorial bench even existed

Clever photoshop job, I'll grant them

Awful poetry protest anger

Nottingham Post: Man complains about phone company through the medium of poetry, runs out of steam near the end

Suggested rhymes for call: ball, hall, bugger all

Spotter's Badge: David

Medical centre anger

Melbourne Herald Sun: Residents oppose new medical centre on their doorstep

I have no doubt their objections will evaporate the minute they need its services

Meanwhile: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THE PHOTO?

Spotter's Badge: Dr Professor Sir Awesome Awesome, which I doubt is their real name and Robert

Pepsi Max anger

Melbourne Age: Sports fan thrown out of stadium in row over a tin of Pepsi

That name again: Pepsi.

Mmm... Pepsi.

Spotter's Badge: Dr Professor Sir Awesome Awesome

Disgusted from Tunbridge Wells anger

Kent and Sussex Courier: Deputy Town Crier fuming that town's spa has dried up

I hear Peckham Spring's quite good.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Severed head anger

Bristol Post: Protesters show their displeasure through the means of a dead pig

I have no words.

Spotter's Badge: Mike