Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Keep your hands of our swans anger

Falmouth Packet: Campaign for security guards to look after swans at next year's Flora Day

I'm prepared to believe that this isn't a photoshop*

*It is a photoshop

Spotter's Badge: Ken

Charged £1.10 for an empty cup anger

Manchester Evening News: Busker dismayed at being charged for his cup in Subway

You're not charged for the cup. You're charged for the fizzy stuff you put in it. And I'm pretty sure you're not a real police officer.

Spotter's Badge: Helen, Dennis

Road closure think of the kiddiewinks anger

Watford Observer: Everything's a danger to kiddiewinks these days, to be honest

The councillor with his official councillor's lanyard. He'll be devastated to learn that they give them to non-councillors too. Mine's red.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Don't take away our post box anger

North Lakes Times: Mango Hill could be about to lose its post box

Nigel Mansell's let himself go, hasn't he?

Spotter's Badge: Lee

Rubbish tip opening hours anger

Wiltshire Times: Very organised protester wants rubbish tips open for longer

Also, something about moving containers. Well done on the sign, must have taken ages.

Spotter's Badge: Sean

No more free golf anger

Glasgow Evening Times: Council scraps free golf for the over sixties

Bit of a mix-up at the Evening Times --- They appear to have published a photo of a Fashion Police identity parade

Monday, August 29, 2016

Increased parking charge anger

Brisbane Courier Mail: Market visitors FURIOUS that car park charge has gone up to AUS$2.00

That's a massive £1.15 in British money. No wonder they're seething.

Spotter's Badge: Steve

Fell down a hole anger

Berwick Advertiser: Woman falls down hole, breaks her ankle

Wait.... where have I seen that pose before?

Spotter's Badge: David

Lions ate my lorry tyre anger

Kidderminster Shuttle: Dad wants ANSWERS after safari park lion bit his truck's tyre

“What if he had smashed my side window? I would have been dead and my son would have been dead.”

Spotter's Badge: Carl

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Lifesaving air ambulance damaged our car anger

South Wales Evening Post: Air ambulance blew a bollard into our car and that's not fair

Yeah, it was probably only bringing a seriously ill patient to the hospital, but just worry about your paintwork

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

We want new signs anger

Bath Echo: Look. Look at these signs. We want new ones

Strong pointing skills, fully-qualified pointer, with the official lanyard to prove it.

Spotter: Rob

Stop hooning down our street anger

Southern Star: [Adopts 100% accurate Aussie accent] "Stop crashing yer cars down our street, ya hoon drongoes"

I know. It's like I was born there.

Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Something about lane closures anger

Knox Leader: Man holds up extremely detailed sign to air his grievances

Conversation in every car that drives past:

"What did that say?"


Spotter's Badge: Rob J

Stolen model goat anger

Sheffield Star: Artist upset after thieves steal her life-sized model goat that was given as a wedding present by somebody who said "We thought you liked goats"

Photograph comes with a space showing where a model goat might have been

Spotter's Badge: Yorkrose

Save our playground anger

Eastern Daily Press: THE KIDS break into play park despite THE MAN'S attempts to stop them

Get used to those bars, THE KIDS.

Spotter's Badge: Helen, Dave

Friday, August 26, 2016

Pokemon Go anger

Kent Online: Woman blames Pokemon Go for sex and drugs at her local park

People were shagging and getting high at the swings YEARS before Pikachu showed up.

Spotter's Badge: Neil, Rob C, Scott

Taking it all too literally anger

Windsor Express: Councillor claims, through the medium of mime, that the Royal Borough is trying to gag him

"Mmmmf mmmmffff hnnnng mffff," he told reporters through his gag.

Spotter's Badge: David

Could take a kiddiewink's eye out anger

Plymouth Herald: Call to do something about the fangs on this playground dragon before a kiddiewink is stabbed in the head

Leave it as it is, spoilsport. Kids need life-changing, hideously disfiguring accidents if they're ever to learn about life's innate cruelty.

Spotter's Badge: Bootsy

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Lovable Hell Hound anger

South Wales Evening Post: Vicar forced to banish his own dog from church

"I've done my best with her but she can be a bit of a problem. There are concerns she's a bit of an unchristian dog."

Yep. Evil.

Spotter's Badge: Jason

Shopkeep death threats anger

Hull Daily Mail: Shopkeep claims people are out to do him in

What people are actually saying is "Look at these killer prices!"

Spotter's Badge: Ian

I've brought a few props anger

Oxford Mail: Potholes have to be as big as a plate and deeper than a Coke can before Oxford Council will fix them

Also, she's brought her packed lunch.

Spotter's Badge: Kathryn, Everybody

Painted over potholes anger

Essex Echo: Council paints mini roundabout over pothole instead of fixing it

Crouching in the middle of the road, dark glasses, lanyard and quality pointing. This man has everything.

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Cancelled bargain holiday anger

Manchester Evening News: Family upset after Thomson refuse to honour £200 Florida holiday after pricing mix-up

Favourite part of this story: The really, really angry T-shirt. And the even more angry hair.

Spotter's Badge: Everybody

Death to Professor Burp anger

Surrey Comet: Man changes his name to Professor Burp in a bid to stop Chessington closing down his favourite Bubbleworks ride

What a maroon

 Incidentally, I find it hard to believe that this Burp character had time to build a genteel theme park ride while simultaneously gaining his professorship, and then succumbing to a hideous bubble-related accident in a life of sixteen years.

Spotter's Badge: Helen

Trees are a danger to kiddiewinks anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Couple worried that if kiddiewinks are walking und tree branches in a severe gale, the branch might fall on the kiddiewink, killing them to death and why aren't the council doing something about this?

Kiddiewinks well and truly thought of.

Spotter's Badge: Simon, Karen

Birmingham City FC and Elvis Presley anger

Birmingham Mail: Bloke told his football and Elvis window displays are bringing the neighbourhood down

Click through for many pictures of a sad Elvis fan.

Spotter's Badge: Jack

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

No new traffic lights anger

Brighton Argus: MP furious at lack of temporary traffic lights at notorious road bottleneck, before realising she turned up five hours early

You might call that bad time-keeping. We call it dedication to duty.

Spotter's Badge: Ian

No sun for Hampshire anger

Southern Daily Echo: THE KIDS upset as Hampshire misses out on heatwave

Kid in brown voted most likely to punch your face off if the weather doesn't improve quickly.

Spotter: Tania

Onion rings spider anger

Nottingham Post: Boy left terrified of Asda own-brand onion rings after spider crawled out of his packet

Except it would have been long dead by the time it reached the shop shelf... sooooo, HERE'S YOUR FREE PACKET OF ASDA OWN BRAND ONION RINGS!

Spotter's Badge: Holly, Everybody

Monday, August 22, 2016

Tiny council tax bill anger

Bath Chronicle: Man receives council tax demand for 1p

Hey guy, turn that frown upside down. It's funny!

 There you go.

Spotter's Badge: Everybody

Illegally stored rubbish anger

Lichfield Mercury: Local traders annoyed by the stench coming from warehouse


Spotter: Paul

Sticky mess all over my house anger Egg and flour attacks cause sticky mess for residents

At least I assume they're eggs.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Four week wait to empty bins anger

Basingstoke Gazette: Council haven't emptied recycling bin for four weeks because people keep parking in the road on bin day

Hint: Don't park in the road on bin day

Also, I've noticed that councillors in these shots have ditched the hi-viz gear and are now turning up with their lanyards of office around their necks. Don't say we haven't noticed, councillors - we WILL Be taking names.

Spotter's Badge: Gareth

Sweary email anger

Crawley News: Woman with tenancy agreement stapled to her face gets a sweary email from letting agent

The Banter Defence. Oh dear.

Spotter's Badge: Skuds

Cricket vs model planes anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Cricketers in dispute with model aircraft club over who gets to use the park

Come on everybody - share. Ten extra runs if you knock a plane out of the sky.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Stealing from Sweet Baby Jesus anger

South Wales Evening Post: Thieves steal from church in broad daylight

And next times, their testicles will be going in that strimmer.

Full bins anger

Plymouth Herald: Death stare after council forgets all about its own assisted bin scheme for the elderly

Don't empty the bins? That's a paddlin'

Spotter's Badge: Oli

Landing pad anger

Shetland News: Locals object to noise from emergency helicopter landing pad

Want to feel old? This is what Thunderbirds look like today

Spotter's Badge: Glen

Friday, August 19, 2016

Noisy road markings anger

Stourbridge News: Residents sick of the constant noise of cars driving over speed camera markings

Fine fingers in ears work, except for spokesman bloke, who is clearly too hard for this kind of thing.

Spotter's Badge: Simon

Southern Rail anger

Shoreham Herald: David Baddiel upset after kid left on railway platform

And compensated with £50 of Southern Rail vouchers, the poor bastards

Spotter's Badge: Angel

Smeghead anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Man banned from school after wearing sweary Red Dwarf T-shirt to sports day


Spotter's Badge: Sam, Karen

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Bumped by a bunch of primadona footballers anger

Manchester Evening News: Bloke claims he was bumped from his extra-legroom aircraft seat so Man City footballers could sit there instead

He gets a rough ride in the comments, but this one wins:

"When Zabba and the Maestro want your seat, you offer to sit in the toilet next time. OK? You don't run to the papers, you sit in the TOILET!!!"

A lesson there for all of us.

Spotter: Literally everybody in the whole world

When Zabba and the Meastro want your seat. You offer to sit in the toilet next time. Okay. You don't run to the papers. You sit in the TOILET!!!

Aussie census anger

Geelong Advertiser: Couple would much rather fill in their census form on paper instead of online

As it turned out, so did the rest of Australia

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Dangerous hedge anger

Yeovil Express: Why oh why oh why won't anybody (not me) cut back this hedge?

That's a true mystery, sir.

Spotter's Badge: Chris

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Harry Potter wand ban anger

Huddersfield Examiner: Man who makes [cough] genuine magic wands defends decision not to sell them to Harry Potter fans

In an earlier article, Mr Carter referred to the wands as "spritual tools". At least, I thought he was referring to the wands.
Spotter's Badge: Hannah

Stolen statue anger

Bromley News Shopper: Seven foot statue stolen

Fine shrugging skills

Spotter's Badge: Christina