Streatham Guardian: Disabled footie fan barred from pub over England flag
It's not just political correctness gone mad, it's "political correctness gone berserk"
Spotter's Badge: Gert
Monday, May 31, 2010
York Press: Kids squat and point in fury as new park is trashed
I see Sherlock Holmes is in the comments, advocating running dog poo through a DNA test.
There's a blog to be made about inane newspaper comments. Somebody else do it.
Southampton Daily Echo: Thieves steal parts from wheelchair bus
So, if you're offered a catalytic converter by a man in a pub, the phone number is this: 999.
That number again: 999
Bournemouth Echo: Shopkeep to stop giving CCTV footage to police after they can't be arsed to investigate crime
Hit 'em where it hurts. Gob on their doughnuts.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
This is Somerset: Angry pensioner so angry over his 13 tax codes, he buys a bunch of lottery tickets
Take that, THE MAN!
Spotter's Badge: Robert
Dorset Echo: Locals vow to chain themselves to trees over holiday park plans
"We never had a fence there before and their excuse is to keep paedophiles out. It looks like Auschwitz."
Bloody. Hell's. Teeth.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Bexley News Shopper: Householder's fury as council rips up new crossover
Sorry, I don't speak Bexley. What's a crossover?
Spotter's Badge: Martin
Oxford Mail: Shopkeeps furious as council decides to enforce traffic laws
A superb double-whammy from the Mail. Jolly well done.
Yellow Advertiser: NIMBYs who were angry in an earlier story still angry
And brilliantly, if they do build a prison in Runwell, all he has to do is to paint over the word "NO" and his van retains its value.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Louth Leader: Badly patched-up man well enough to point at potholes
Thursday, May 27, 2010
South West Times: Stop dumping your roosters on my wildlife park, says angry bloke
KEEP YOUR COCKS TO YOURSELVES
Spotter's badge: Michelle
Dorset Echo: Student angry as college cutbacks disrupt her course
"I'd disrupt her course" is THE WRONG THING TO SAY
Bexley Times: Anger over plans to recycle human poo
It all depends what they're going to be recylcing it into, of course. As a rule of thumb, Bourbon Biscuits = BAD.
Spotter's Badge: Martin
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Dorset Echo: Football fan fuming after being told to remove 'racist' England shirt by police
Ladies: If a police officer tells you he wants you to remove your 'racist' football shirt, he only wants to see your tits. Do not remove your England shirt, unless you want him to see your tits.
That is all.
Peterborough Today: Angry families reject offer over HOLIDAY HELL
Warning: The punters are going harsh in the comments section. "Paid a fortune for a holiday? Fed raw sewage? That'll be your own fault then"
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
South West Times (Aus): Whinging Poms whinge in local rag over HOLIDAY HELL
Somebody send a Red Cross parcel or something, the poor devils
Spotter's Badge: Michelle
Monday, May 24, 2010
Dorset Echo: Traders anger as tourist information office finds new home
I've lived in Weymouth for eight years, and it appears that the default position for shopkeepers is furious.
So: Come to sunny Weymouth. See the angry shopkeeps. Make them angrier.
Bournemouth Echo: Web designer thrown off bus after trying to pay with £20 note
If only there was some sort of secure electronic method of purchasing tickets by means of a network of linked computer systems.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Bournemouth Echo: Punter arrested, handcuffed and helped down a steep flight of concrete stairs over Irish twenty pound note
Important details of this story emerge in the final paragraph, as you'd expect.
Dorset Echo: Driver's fury as visit to DIY store ends in parking fine
"Now - who shall I complain to? The store manager, or the local paper?"
Essex Echo: Party shop owner enraged over flytipping fine after leaving cardboard box next to bin
She asks: "What kind of commercial waste does a party shop produce?"
Answer: Dead clowns.
Spotter's Badge: Anon
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Reading Evening Post: Mum's complaint over f***ing kids f***ing swearing on f***ing school bus
F***, yeah. You tell the f***ers.
Contains the all-too-predictable line: "Now, I am no prude but..."
Spotter's Badge: Nowtas
Essex Echo: Dr Feelgood guitarist joins battle to save island pool
So, that makes him Dr FeelBAD about the whole issue, then.
Yeah, I'll shut up.
Spotter's Badge: @Satanspants
Friday, May 21, 2010
Southampton Daily Echo: Furious resident fights back against fast food litter by ...err... dumping litter inside fast food restaurant
Yeah, I can see the point where you surrender the moral high ground, pal.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Southampton Daily Echo: Football fan fed up after council order to remove England flags
I've just heard the new version of Three Lions, and I'm going to support Germany in this World Cup until the people responsible are rounded up and exiled to a small island without any electricity.
Royston Crow: Ill woman upset after council move her into craphole
She's getting a voucher. Whoop.
Spotter's Badge: Alan
Reading Evening Post: Roadworks leave caravan dwellers with rat infestation
And being only eight inches tall, they're all bloody terrified.
Spotter's Badge: Nowtas
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Belfast Telegraph: Residents demand answers after landslip totals local street
Sorry pal, don't look at me.
Warrington Guardian: Man wanted for attack on woman
This scrote thinks it's fine to attack women. We think he's a tit in dire need of a good kick up the cludger and bloody ugly to boot. Call the police if you can help.
Don't have nightmares.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Dorset Echo: Fury as vandals wreak trail of destruction round tourist park
They even put this chap's train through the wash at the wrong temperature, and now look at it. I'd be severely "dis-chuffed", too.
Bournemouth Echo: Yet another update on the camera-shy people of Swanage and their attempts to keep a local care home open
Don't fancy yours much
Macclesfield Express: Disappointment, only slight anger as Silk Museum to close
No more shall the smooth, smooth silk play across warm, yearning thighs …err… as you were
Hendon and Finchley Times: Anger as posh people can't get their bikes down cycle route
It's like living in a police state sometimes.